I haven't posted on this blog in nearly a month, since I was dreadfully overcome with a sinus infection, so I think it's high time for a new post, and I'm in a self-indulgent mood so I'll talk about what's been going on.
Things are starting to move forward. A symbolic gesture toward progress was made earlier in the week when I sold my 1992 Toyota Corolla, which I have had since 2006 (ie a junior in high school). Even though I am still without my desired car, the 1996 Ford Contour that has been in the shop for a long time (which was fine until August), I discovered that the Toyota had some residual issues from when it got too hot in the middle of Braselton traffic. After it got hot it affected my transmission or head; in any case one of my 4 cylinders wasn't working and the car couldn't get enough power so I was dragging as I drove, barely making it up hills. The issue could be fixed but it wasn't worth it and I was happy to sell it to a 19 year old auto mechanic student so he could fix it up for his girlfriend. It was very much a symbolic gesture as it represents cutting things loose and moving on.
I've been reflecting on specific goals I set myself last year around the same time. It was around October that I began my first non theatre position as a film extra while pursuing my interest in education, applying to a variety of different schools with the hopes of moving out. Ultimately I decided to stay at home, though. My strategy was to stay in Habersham because my best chance of getting a job in education and making education contacts was with the contacts I knew in Habersham's schools; this worked because I am a substitute but ultimately it didn't lead into a full time teaching position due to the "Highly Qualified" status necessitated through certification. It sucks because theoretically (and from what I've heard in actuality) it means that a Physicist with a PhD and 20 years of Physics research and lecturing experience wouldn't get a job teaching Physics or math in high school because he or she doesn't have a MAT or BSEd.
Tangent aside, staying in Habersham has been a positive thing; I've rekindled with a great deal of people, including principals, that will serve well in the future as contacts, I've gotten a method of working as a substitute down and therefore understand practical classroom management, and through working at the library and this position as well as keen personal management I've been able to earn a decent living. This being said, I'm still living at home. At the beginning of the Summer I faced two ultimate decisions that I could move out and survive and live on my income pretty well or that if I wanted to do extensive travelling abroad and backpack into the Andean South America I would have to live at home. My decision was made when my mom, diagnosed with breast cancer, said I should live at home because she needed someone to support her (and frankly, my dad is too desensitized to do so). My goal is to have $2,000 in my bank account by the end of the year. With that I will pay for my ticket to Lima, Peru for three weeks, give or take. Then I will try to have $2,500 in my account by June.
That being said, some interesting changes are to be contemplated and tactfully drawn out. I have decided that getting into a MFA in Creative Writing will be my priority (in reality I decided this a few posts before, but I will reiterate it). I still intend to apply to MAT programs, but the MFA will suit my needs best. I will teach, but my interest in writing will be nurtured in an environment with peers that share my love and interest in similar subjects. Mainly, though, it will help me with a couple of goals that I set last October and last year. For one, I want to move out. Period. I gave my mom and my interest in going to South America this year, but I made it a goal to move out, even if it is in Habersham, within 2 years ie by a August 2013 deadline. The MFA will give me a job and I only intend to apply to programs that are fully funded so I can afford housing. I also have a goal of living outside of Georgia; I love Georgia and I wouldn't mind settling here but I made this goal because even though I have traveled outside of this state I want the experience of living outside of it for proper perspective. I owe myself this opportunity; I don't want to be 40 and hating Georgia but not being able to do anything about it because I have obligations and expenses to worry about.
The MAT program will give me less of that but I'm tiptoeing into being ok with it. I have a special friend who has given me optimism by working as a tutor and doing well in the program. I will have to stay in the state of Georgia to get in-state tuition. Make no mistake; I view the MAT as an undergraduate experience, which I don't care to have, but I have optimism that if I apply to a big university I can have the opportunity to work at something a little more useful in my goals than being a waiter and I think the extra year will help me by having experience that will help me get a job quicker. In short: the MAT isn't my ideal prospect but I am becoming a little less militant in opposition to it.
I do want to comment on an experience I had with Teach for America. I decided to reapply because I felt that it was a good way to teach and get certification while not fully being in a MAT experience. It didn't work out; I made it past the first stage, but the phone interview didn't go so well even though the interviewer was 15 minutes late in calling me and the questions were extremely vague. Some people have had a positive experience with the program, others haven't. Ultimately, I doubt I would have. I am not a fan of charter schools. I will have to elaborate on that in a future post, but I feel charter schools are not doing anything truly positive to enrich students' lives that's tangible. They're sentimental, emotional, but they don't actually improve students' performances, they dilute money from public schools, they dilute attention from public schools, and they destabilize teachers thinking that teachers are the problem (they're not, Michelle Rhee). Teach for America is essentially a recruiting force for charter schools and like charter schools they place preference on emotional qualities such as passion and drive for change. Of course every teacher wants to make a difference in a child's life; that's what most teachers go in to do. There's a difference between a teacher who can teach and a Havard grad who led the Chess Club and chooses to boost his resume by suffering one year with a class full of lower-income students. That maybe bitterness talking, but I realized this was not how I wanted to get into my career in between the TFA stages and I think I sabotaged my own opportunity. Oh well. I will be fine. Probably. (As I said I'm starting to articulate an opinion on charter schools to be posted later).
Also, coming on the 18th will be my GRE test date. So the prospect of Graduate School is looming. Starting this week until the 18th I intend to study, but I also intend to develop my portfolio. I looked up the deadlines for the programs I am most interested in and noted them today. Changes will begin. It will be nice.
