Lately, I've been trying to conceive of some ideas for a one act play for a festival I'd like to enter. Preferably I'd like to use a work I've already put some effort on rather than completely start afresh.
Initially I thought about expanding on a one act I put about three drafts into. I have a play entitled "Patricide" that I wrote originally for the Horizon Theatre One Act competition. It was ultimately rejected, but that's how writing goes. The play dealt with a true event that cluttered with fictional pretenses. Succinctly, it dealt with my father's troubled relationship with his father, my grandfather, who abandoned the family for another woman and didn't budge even during my uncle's dying days.
Not succinctly, when my grandfather was in his dying days by dad refused to see him or, more importantly, bring my sister (a baby) to see him. My dad never forgave my grandfather for forsaking my uncle and this brought about a short story that I kept in my mind primarily because I liked the idea of a revenge story through subtle shunning. Eventually I took this short story on for the script but changed the main character from male to female, but there was a couple of arcs that even in the third draft I still couldn't manage. With this play contest I figured I could address this to produce some written material appropriate for the festival. Consequently I re-read the last draft.
I can see why Horizon rejected it.
The play was written to be a little more poetic for its britches and some of the details aren't fine tuned. Specifically, the stage directions aren't too wonderful.
I've been mulling over whether to rework it or not because I'm not sure it would work. More importantly it doesn't really seem to be the festival's style or honestly...mine. I rarely have an interest in family squabbling in dramatic scripts or narratives. Plus I wasn't sure how to bring out some comedy in the script except for the husband character I created to be a goofball, but I also couldn't put a proper justification to his existence.
Most important, or at the very least pertinent for this blog post, I couldn't put a proper logline on it.
Loglines have become my life's blood in regards to developing material. Working with loglines has allowed me to have a basic framework of dramatic action. A great script needs dramatic action. It needs an antagonist, a struggle, a character fighting for something. I knew I was possibly on to something with my latest script because I came up with a reasonably decent logline and it helped lead me into a third draft that I don't truly hate.
In coming up with ideas with this one act I've been working with loglines. I really struggled Tuesday coming up with a good story because each story I came up with, with the intention of being really funny, was not really funny. The logline for a good comedy script needs to be funny or elicit a chuckle. Whenever I mention my script "The Five Stages of Baldness" to someone it usually brings about a laugh. I think the logline for the script is essentially "A young man goes through the fives stages of grief as he discovers he is going bald."
That was the problem I was facing in my reconception of "Patricide." It is a good title, I must confess in order to boost my ego. Yet, the logline isn't quite there yet. "A woman tries to avenge herself after her father leaves her," is WAY too dramatic. "A woman confronts her past" is a trope that isn't quite what I want. There's something in this script but I haven't reached the right logline.
As I need to begin this script soon, I've been looking over some other material I've worked on. There's an idea that I've been wanting to turn into a feature length screenplay for the Nicholl's Fellowship or some other competition. It's about young men who rob their grandmother of her guns to resell and ultimately get hunted down by someone far too dangerous for them. There's an element of "Before the Devil Knows You're Dead" in the story, but really I'm looking at portraying characters far too young for their pants, akin to a storyline in "Gomorrah" (if you've seen it you know which one). What leads me to this script is a few things.
For one, I already wrote a draft of the script, an outline, and several other supplementary material. I have some arc work and plot work to iron out, but I have an idea that I could turn this story into a play by just breaking the plot down into three scenes. The first scene would be the boys planning, the second would be the aftermath and trying to figure who is hunting them, and the third would be the confrontation of the hunter and the hunted. The idea of robbing a grandmother leaves room for some comedy and dark humor which is more up my alley. Equally important is that I already have a juicy logline.
"A pair of young men must find out who is hunting them after stealing guns from their grandmother."
This logline indicates some possibilities as a script. There is dramatic action in the hunt, the detective work of who is hunting them, and the robbing. There is a conflict with protagonists and antagonists. Therefore I think I intend to use this story to work on for this one act. My hope is to still turn it into a feature length script, which I think is feasible, so this one act will help if anything.
Now, as you could tell from my development of these stories, loglines aren't guiding everything. Yet, loglines have become a valuable tool in my arsenal. Go loglines!
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