What I Want To Think About: The 50 List

Like most people I know, I am as stunned at the turn of events with our 2016 Election. We have a president-elect I never wanted in my entire life and it pains me to the point that I write this shaking and to the point where I have to find a way to move forward by writing something. Anything. I have to write something meaningful to me. No matter how foul and toxic his campaign or the entire election coverage was, no matter how foul and toxic his presidency may be, no man is powerful enough to curb my ambition and the path I've worked hard to forge.

So I will share the thoughts and considerations I have often enough to where I can solidify them in a blog post. I think about my future because of my commitment to growth. I write down my goals and my thoughts on my future because a goal written down is a living, breathing entity that, while I can certainly change and act pragmatic about, I must hold myself accountable to what is written. Writing down a goal and creating tactics to overcoming a goal acts as a mechanism to overcoming the personal and individuals hurdles we all have. For me this hurdle as I've realized this year, and tried to call cavespeak, is Aspergers. For me, I will not and I cannot bow to this hurdle, to cynicism, or to lethargy.

I cannot know what our future may hold but I can at least work on my personal future.

My stake in my personal future instigated my creation of the 30 List. Since I was 22 I have thought about my 30 List, of where I want to be at age 30. The core of this blog has been me sharing my experiences accomplishing goals listed on my 30 List. I am on the path towards the future I saw at 22. Thus, this year I saw fit to think of a grander benchmark.

Where do I want to be when I am 50?

What will be on my 50 List?

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Why on earth would I think of 50 when I'm...27? It seems exceptionally odd given that so much can happen between 27 or 30 and 50. There's something admittedly rigid about the creation of a goals list. Why not just let life happen?

I don't disagree. Yet I can't imagine what my life without pursuit might've been. I am naturally inclined towards rigidness, towards having a goal or routine. It is a flaw, to not go with the flow or to not accept what may happen or play it by ear. I have my way of thinking and unfortunately I'm aware of how toxic and different it appears to others.

That being said I love LOVE having something to look forward to. I hate trying to make plans and having that grey area of uncertainty where everyone wants to wait and see. I want that date in my calendar because it's something to look forward to.

It is privilege to be able to create a basic outline to how you want your life to be. After growing up in an environment where I beat myself up, became easily content with lethargy and after growing up in an environment where for most people I know life just happened, I want and value self-determination. I want to have expectations. I want to decide what my life can be like.

What a proper goal does is not create a rigid MUST ABSOLUTELY DO THIS  OR ELSE list of bullet points. A proper goal creates an environment where life can happen in a way that fosters growth and leads you on a path that will make your life fulfilled. I can't say that life will be happy, because fulfillment requires sacrifice, pain, doubt, and all that existential goodness.

To make my list easier within a larger time frame, I've purposely made what I have of my 50 List not finite. What I want to do and what I've listed so far is purposely broad. I don't have a "Do this at age 34" or anything like that because that's not what I really want. I want to construct a path. I don't want just a highlight reel life. I want experiences. I want to have a life experience I can share (because I want to have a life shared with someone) and I want a life that fulfills me.

I do have one pretty rigid doal, however, for age 50. When I'm 50 I want to hike Machu Picchu again. Hiking Machu Picchu at 24 was the realization that if I wrote down a goal I could do it. When I turn 50 I want to hike Machu Picchu again and look back at what I've experienced.

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The 50 List (so far):

Travel

• Go to at least one foreign country every year and one national park every year
• Visit every continent before 50 if only once
• Go to a different continent once every 5 years but
• Explore the Americas as much as possible
• Can substitute one foreign country for a major US road trip (2 weeks or more)
• Hike Machu Picchu at age 50
• Go to at least one hockey game every year NHL, ECHL, AHL, etc
• Travel the US cross country either via car or rail
• Travel in first class on air and on rail at least once

Personal and Career

• Write a script every year
• Direct a film festival qualifying film every year
• Write and direct a feature film
• Be able to think in Spanish
• Rise up to a management position (in the library)

Material

• Own a house, even if small, and even if only a year
• Pay off student loan debt
• Own an American made Fender Stratocaster or Jazzmaster plus a really nice tube amp (Fender, Orange, Vox) and appropriate effects (Big Muff Pi, Fuzz Face)
• Own a car made in the 21st century
• Create a 457 (b) or some other tax deferred retirement plan