Thursday, September 13, 2018

A Criteria for Prioritizing Destinations: The Most Martin Thing I've Ever Done

I'm WAY too excited about a criteria I created! I'm not sure if anyone should have excitement over criteria or organization but I love it and I'm sharing this criteria (via my blog to my faithful readers)!

A couple of months ago I created a four point criteria to use when prioritizing travel destinations. I wrote down four criteria to define what I find rewarding in a destination based on previous travels and to help prioritize where I want to travel next.

I felt the list illuminated why some destinations attract me more than others and it ultimately illuminated what I seek in life through experiences such as travel. But, it also illuminates my type of crazy.

Before I shared the specific criteria points, my friend Kevin immediately interrupted my announcement to him and said "That's the most you thing you've ever done." 

He's right. It is a very me thing to do. It's a very me thing to consider travel, where rewards often arise from supreme serendipity, and impose my rigid way of thinking to how I consider a destination.

Make no mistake: serendipity and in the moment discoveries have generated much reward in my travels and life. But developing this criteria helped me realize what I love most about travel. I think it helped me separate myself from a perception of travel as "getting away from it all" or "it's a thing you do." For me, travel is a way for me to extend my love of narratives. It's an extension of what I love in movies and books. The world is my library. 

But libraries are daunting with so much to choose from. So I like knowing a bit about why I choose a place or what I find rewarding in a vacation to understand what attracts me to a new narrative. 

The Criteria

The criteria for prioritizing destinations:
  1. Jules Verne reward - places that enable me to feel like an adventurer, but not just in lost civilizations. I'll explain later. 
  2. Star Wars reward - places that make me feel like I'm in a science fiction world, most likely in a Star Wars movie or book. In other words, it feels other worldly or futuristic. 
  3. History nerd reward - places that reward my love of history. Pretty simple.
  4. Food reward - I like to eat really tasty food. Pretty simple. 

Did I Need to Do This?

Did I need to write this at all?

No.

But I found this list helpful. Organization provides clarity and this list provided clarity for me. It's less a list of how I'm supposed to travel than a reflection of what I already love. Most destinations I've loved don't quite cover all four criteria yet I relish the simplicity in which it reflects lifelong pursuits of knowledge. 

Traveling serves as a more intensive and immersive opportunity for knowledge. Ultimately, reading a book or watching a movie isn't the same as being in a place. Traveling provides what a book cannot replicate. It extends my knowledge on a more sensory level. It's one thing to see a picture of a French bakery and an entirely different but connected thing to smell a French bakery. 

Experience allows us to construct more useful knowledge. I'm the kind of person who would rather learn by doing - a method I learned to do the hard way after anxiety and over thinking (my prior mode) led me to do nothing. Travel allows knowledge by doing. 

A Narrative Rarely Shared


A particularly hard to define criteria for me was the Jules Verne criteria. What does that mean? At first I thought that meant finding "lost" or "adventure story-worthy" places, but that wasn't quite it. No - it's about the discovery of a narrative rarely shared. 

I remember my 10th grade World History class hardly touching on the history of Asia, Africa, South America, and other places not connected to Europe and Euro-American events. This bothered me: we learned the historical narrative that relates to less than 2 billion people on a planet that currently hosts 7-8 billion! That's a huge narrative missing!

I asked the teacher why and her rebuttal was that we didn't have enough time: "Research and read about it on your own."

I think defining the Jules Verne criteria led me to understand I've always had a lifelong pursuit of narratives missing. I don't like things missing - it's a puzzle without pieces and my brain doesn't like that. It also diminishes the humanity of a world that has more people than the entirety of Europe or North America combined

I want to know this narrative. Hence, the Jules Verne criteria. I love the novels of Jules Verne as he deals with characters discovering the less known or forgotten narratives of Earth.

This isn't just history either. For instance, it wasn't until I travelled to Japan that I really saw Shintoism and Buddhism in a deeper, more meaningful way. It was never part of any meaningful discourse in my education yet visiting Meiji Shrine proved a more rewarding experience than the Eiffel Tower because the narrative it produced sparked new knowledge and a new sense of seeing the world. This was a cultural narrative rarely shared.

Missing

There's no one way to travel. Travel means discovery and immersion, but the way that happens for each of us depends on a lot of factors. 

For me, what I ultimately find isn't necessarily what I was searching for, but I create this criteria to understand what I can search for and what will enable me to fulfill the lifelong pursuit of personal development and better understanding of a world I barely understand.

Thursday, September 6, 2018

Questions Not Asked: A Summer 2018 Update

I began 2018 with so many questions and while I've shared the travel experiences I enjoyed in Mexico and Japan, I haven't written on my year quite yet.

So where am I?

Answers...

Good news to the January 2018 Martin: your hairline remains!

Bad news: you don't own a house. And that's fine!

Announcing an interest in buying a house feels being a way too hot person whose Facebook status went from "In a Relationship" to "Single."Your friend who's in real estate private messages you more than before and random emails and letters don't stop from mortgage lenders. My status is now "Looking to Buy" so now I receive messages like "How u doing?" or "DTB?" (down to buy).

Granted, these folks make their money with marketing such as these emails and letters. I have no qualms with them.

It's a privileged place, to a degree. I'm at a point I hoped for, dreamed for, and worked for: the point where I can make investments for my future. I can start a Roth IRA. I can have a high yield savings account to save up for a down payment on a house.

I'm glad to be here and I know this status won't last. Somewhere in the future a hiccup will occur: furloughs, tax raises, and other hijinks that my occupation as public librarian may bring forth. This knowledge motivates me to invest now while I can because who knows what will happen.

So I started a Roth IRA. I do have a high yield savings. But I'm waiting until after the new year in 2019 to grind down on home-buying. Why? So I can put down enough to avoid paying heavily on my credit line and so I can purchase a detached house. Initially I thought of buying a condo or townhome but I decided that's not me. If I have to take part in this proverbial debutante ball, I want a house I can live in long enough to not deal with it again for a xwhile. That means a not-quite but close dream house with land acreage and rooms I can fill with books!

That means a larger down payment. By December I should have enough for the down payment.

On non-home matters this year, I have found more answers or solutions to my long term questions. But much of what I conceived involves financial concerns, travel concerns, film concerns - quantifiable questions. These concerns have resolutions or answers.

But what about the qualitative questions, or the questions that can't be defined in a set end-goal. What are the questions I didn't ask? How will it feel to be Martin?

I didn't begin this year asking questions for feelings or emotions. I didn't ask "how would I feel when my friends turned 30 or when my mom turned 60?"

"Why am I scared of death?"

Wait what?

Questions


When you read that segue you may think how do I go from "down payment almost ready" to "I'm terrified of dying."

Well, that's my brain right now. I require action and I need to accomplish goals. I also have to read a book or watch The Clone Wars if I wake up too early and can't sleep because if I remain still my anxiety walls fall and all the anxiety armies standing at gates flood in.

I think many of our brains work like this. But I never ask these questions. I start years working towards answers for quantifiable questions or tactics for accomplishing goals and I never consider the tactics for reckoning with my humanity. I remove myself from that because I think I'm a robot.

But despite my inability to articulate my emotions and to reveal inner truths the way others find easily, I am human. Or at least I have human emotions programmed in me.

I ask "why am I afraid of death" because I worry about death. A lot. I wrote about it in my Japan trip post. As I plan for the long term, a very necessary task, it sets forth actual reckoning with the idea that I may die or people I love will die. When I discussed my plans for a Roth IRA, my Mom stopped me. "I don't want to think about you when you're 60, because I'll be 91 if I'm still here."

I have no way to conceive of death in a way that satisfies me even a little bit. I hope the cure for mortality is found. I also wouldn't mind becoming a cyborg. But I don't want to think of just sleeping. I want to have the forest I can wander in with Angie, with my friends, with my family, and with my dog.

So that's an eternal question I never ask that I need to ask: how do I make peace with endings? 

I've spent my whole life working towards becoming or seeming more human. I've tried for more open expressions when it's not natural to me. I try to smile more even though I'm not naturally inclined. I try to share glee like when my friends celebrate - a sincere glee. But it's not a dial for me - I'm off or really on. Like intense weird on. I'm either meh or "YAY!!!" It's not bipolar. It's intensity.

I've tried to act more human and measure my intensity and outward humanity. But I haven't given much consideration for the humanity - the fears, hopes - that still live in me. I haven't really made peace with how I view "loneliness as a war." Despite my aversion to humanity, I still want to share pieces of me. But what pieces do I share? I share my intense love of World War 1 and movies, but I feel I underwhelm my loved ones with very little sharing of my humanity and struggles.

I've spent my whole life oversharing the wrong pieces. So what are the pieces people really want? And how do I share them?

I struggle asking these questions because there are not hard set answers or resolutions. I cannot find answers for these questions over a year. I can't write a to-do list and underneath "finish the second draft of Hunters" write "figure out your fear of death by September." These remain eternal questions that I will spend my whole life pursuing answers for.

Maybe that's the piece I need to share: the pursuit, the struggle that I have with how my humanity evolves and how my answers to these questions change.

But I need to remain forward. I can work on these questions and still move forward with the life I want.

Forward

Despite my anxieties, I remain hopeful at what my life may become and where I stand now. I write this post with less than 6 months away from 30. I write this post grateful that I have reaped the rewards of work, of my loved ones' support, and I remain vigilant.

I can plan for my financial future. I have more scripts to write (two have production potential). I finished my short film Will this summer. I accepted a promotion at another library branch.

There remains work ahead. There remains struggle ahead. Anxieties never go away, but I can only give so much time to anxiety. I will push through this year with ample savings, ample screenwriting, trips to Asheville and St. Augustine, and embrace the 50 List.