Sunday, May 5, 2013

Why I Prefer Poetry

A number of posts ago I discussed why I've transformed in a book snob. I love literature; the reason I embarked upon a life of artistic creativity via writing and other production mechanisms (ie filmmaking, directing on the stage) is because of how much art has helped me discover transcendent moments. My big three are probably everyone else's big three which are moving images (film, tv), music, and literature (creatively and artistic written work). That being said I am unwilling to lumber through fourteen hundred page books. Is that a problem?

I worked for the library in my home area for a year and two months and encountered people who checked out 10 full novels in one visit and would bring them back within two weeks finished and read. I encountered people who would look at dense Robert Jordan novels that another patron was checking out and say "I read those in about three days." Yet I am an individual who barely gets a book done in two weeks...even if said book is 200 pages. I still remember a classmate of mine, K---, asking me why it takes so long to read. To her I said something pretentious like I usually did which is that I read literature and not fluff. Indeed I was reading "The Tin Drum" by Gunter Grass and "Les Miserables" by Victor Hugo. Still, now that I embrace fully my love of scifi and read (or read past tense) "Consider Phlebas" by Iain M. Banks (which by the way was meh) in 3 weeks at best I have to wonder if I'm a reader.

Yes I am a reader; just not of the Robert Jordan or George R.R. Martin variety. Or even Leo Tolstoy (Tolstoi if you want to be old school). As I discussed in mentioned previous post, however, I prefer brevity. I prefer works of literature that can stand on their own in one reading. This was elucidated by Poe in his essay "On Poesy" and I absolutely agree with him. "The Black Cat" by Poe, "Welcome to the Dollhouse" by Vonnegut, "A Good Man is Hard to Find," "Revelation," well anything by Flannery O'Connor are better than most novels. To me, the best contemporary writer of science fiction aside from Neal Stephenson is Ted Chiang, a technical writer who has won a lot of Hugos for his novelettes and short stories; his stories are more breathtaking than anything by China Mieville or Martin. Hell, last year's Hugo for short story "The Paper Menagerie" by Ken Liu was better than most novels I've read (and here it is: http://io9.com/5958919/read-ken-lius-amazing-story-that-swept-the-hugo-nebula-and-world-fantasy-awards). 

The point is I like literature that can pack a punch within a brief read. I prefer novels to be no more than 300 pages and to read like they're only 100 (a la Douglas Adams). Maria Semple's "Where'd You Go Bernadette" was like this. The reason is because...well I don't know. I worry it might be because my attention wonders, but when I read "Cryptonomicon" by Neal Stephenson in its 900 page glory I didn't have this because it was so full of awesome stuff. I think it is because I can read into information quickly. I think this not because of ego (ooh look me I can take it in quickly) but because of my drama experience. I'm used to scripts, I'm used to a character's psychology being revealed in dialogue and dramatic action. I can read into a character through action to where I don't need the prose to dwell so damn much into anything else.

Now, let's get to poetry.

I love poetry. The way those patrons at my library would devour Robert Jordan is how I devour poetry. "Native Guard" by Natasha Trethewey is to me one of the top 5 greatest works of literature in the past 20 years and I read it all in one day...actually 2 hours. I have the same regard for contemporary poets like Philip Levine, Fred Chappell, Lucille Clifton (who passed away in 2010), and Sharon Olds. I love poetry because I can read into action and images; I can read into brevity and I prefer to read into brevity because brevity can lend itself into arresting moments. My favorite poet of all time is Pablo Neruda and within a line would come a revelation that just knocks you down. One of his lines is better than a 1400 page novel.

A lot of people don't prefer poetry because they prefer the story format, which is fair enough. To me, though, a poem is a story. It is the story of a moment. There is character (the voice) and action (the revelation, the moment); it is a story of something akin to a goosebump. To me life isn't just a story but a poetry anthology or collection, a collection of moments.

I prefer poetry because I can get a story's worth of revelation, or transcendence in a line or in a page. The poet ee cummings could do that. In fact I prefer minimal poems because of how breathtaking they can be.

People should read more poetry or poetry should be more available to more people. I'd like for people to know more than one non dead poet. To me poetry is so much better than the novel. 

Saturday, May 4, 2013

The necessity of recitative in quality scripts

Recitative is a term I first learned about in Theatre History while our class lecture detailed opera. It refers to the spoken dialogue of the opera singers, as opposed to the arioso and aria which are the peaks, so to speak (think "Un bel di vedremo" when you think of arias ie you should youtube the aria, particularly with Maria Callas because it is awesome).

It's an important term to me as a writer, and one with a penchant and love for writing scripts, because I've adopted the term to refer to the moments in a show that are not climatic moments. Aristotelian theatre structure would possibly refer to these moments as rising action or falling action, but I use recitative. Why? Because it serves my criticism slightly more accurately than the Aristotelian terms (or I'm just difficult. Also, because "Downton Abbey."

Many that know me know that I have a very substantial disdain for "Downton Abbey." For me, it is a show that attracts intellectuals but is not intellectual. It's actually the opposite. It is "The OC" essentially, but because the actors have British accents and wears suits and dresses in a manor it has become lumped with the idea of thought provoking. It's not.

I know of several critics of "Downton Abbey," oddly enough mostly British. Simon Schama lamented the lack of accuracy in the show. Accuracy doesn't bother me so much. What bothers me is structure, dialogue, characterization; the mechanics that are at best simplistic and direct (in season 1 particularly) and at worst dreadfully overdramatic as it panders to the basic impulses of its (American) viewers.

By mechanics I refer to how it presents its climactic drama. The show I often compare it with is "Mad Men" which also shows dramatic moments and to the once a time viewer seems soap operatic. I strongly disagree with this critique of "Mad Men" because unlike "Downton Abbey," "Mad Men" has recitative. It has spoken moments, as opposed to just arias.

See, "Downton Abbey" is a show that doesn't relent on dramatic, climactic moments. It's as if one is watching an opera that is all aria. Arias are great and are often transcendent (once again, listen to "Un bel di vedremo") but if there is no recitative the aria is meaningless. An all aria show translated to modern rock music would be like grindcore, like Napalm Death: an onslaught.

This is "Downton Abbey"; it is a grindcore all aria opera. Dramatic and climactic events happen all the damn time on the show. Worst of all is the seemingly random choices the writer (s) make with the death of characters. One character dies of miscarriage; that happens, but is it the right choice? Or killing a character in a car accident? Just because it could happen doesn't mean you should write an event like that.

A great show (a great work of art really) requires dynamism, it requires peaks and troughs, it requires arias and recitative. In a script it requires rising action, build-up, dialogue that sets up characters as full individuals with self-interests and motivations. That seems basic, but "Downton Abbey" (and many other shows) neglect these imperative elements in quality screenwriting. A show needs this balance of recitative and aria to make the aria, the climax, memorable.

Let's get back to "Mad Men." When you describe "Mad Men" it seems a soap opera but because the writers employ a dynamic style the show is able to balance the climactic arias with recitative that builds motivation and character relationships. In technical style, "Mad Men" doesn't pander; there's no underscore of sweeping strings during climactic moments. There's moments of genuine humor, of characters relating to each other and building relationships but it creates climactic moments that when they swell they truly swell and remain memorable because of a) its buildup through recitative and b) its special quality in relation to its place in the episode/work.

An all-aria work of art, in particular an episode of a television show, the climax or dramatic moments feel diluted and become meaningless. I am reminded of Emily Dickinson and her theory of deprivation; Dickinson felt deprivation is necessary because when one was deprived of something that something feels more important. Imagine eating your favorite food every day; chances are you'll get tired of it. There's a reason after college ramen noodles are wretched to you now.

This same principle of deprivation applies to art as well. Too much aria a la "Downton Abbey" makes those special, climatic moments not special anymore. That's why shows need recitative.




"Mad Men" is better than "Downton Abbey" is really what I'm trying to say.


Life Update Spring

Hey, I'm back.

I've neglected this blog, so I'm back with a few life updates.

It's actually been rough lately. I didn't get accepted into any MFA programs. None. I received rejection letters from 7- count them - schools. I didn't accepted into any.

From I've read this isn't uncommon. Many individuals applied to as many as 14 or more and received denials. The acceptance rate of most MFA in Creative Writing schools are substantially low, like 1% or lower. I could blame the economy, but I'm always one to accept responsibility for my own actions. My portfolio needs continued improvement, and they must have not been wowed by it. I read most of the poems of the poetry professors and they're not like mine. I have a poem "A Sonnet Falls Apart" that I cut substantially that needs revision...or at least a new title. This sucks though because my eggs were planned for this back and if it didn't work I'd try again.

I'm not sure I want to try again.

My mind has been quite busy about the future and frankly it has reached a level of pessimism that I haven't had in awhile. Normally I make backup plans and I didn't this time, I took a big risk. I did apply, after all my denials, to Georgia Southern for the MA in Literature and got accepted, but now I'm at a point to where I don't know if that's what I want to do.

I want to be in writing, but I don't want to be an academic, or at least I don't think I do. I grew accustomed to being a do-er shockingly, which wasn't me in high school. Being a theatre major got me used to that; I can do critical analysis and research essays, but if I want to do research...I want to do experiments, not just critical analysis of text. If that's what I wanted to do I'd go to law school and if I wanted to do experiments I would've stayed in biology. Make no mistake, there's been times when I've debated whether I should have changed my major or not and I've looked in on accelerated learning programs in Engineering (at Boston U) or in Nursing (at Georgia Regents). I even called Georgia State about their MBA in Healthcare Administration.

Then I realized I don't want to do that. I want to write. That's all I want to do, really. I like experiments in art, particularly directing films but writing is what I do. That's why I've been strongly considering denying GA Southern's MA in Lit program in favor of a Master's in Professional Writing or Master's in English Rhetoric & Composition.

Since last year my interest in teaching secondary education has dwindled substantially to where the MAT program is nothing I will consider in the near future. I don't like where Georgia in particular is going with education. Education is no longer about human relationships, which was its appeal to me. Now it's like working in telemarketing or working in sales. It's about meeting quotas, it's ultimately about treating students like their products. If I want to work in that kind of environment I'll get a MBA because then I'll make more money.

The problem with professional writing is I worry it might be like that, but I'm a bit optimistic. I've left the library and work as a sub full time because while I will want to get that degree I need to keep job options afloat, which means I'll need some library references and some references if I want to get in as a parapro. Those are the job opportunities I foresee being available anywhere and those are it, sorta (library jobs are around but I don't know what my chances are). I do miss the human relationships associated with the library, and the Master's of Science in Library Science has been a degree I've been tempted to get because it can be used to get a Technical Writing job but I'm on the fence for that one.

The reason I've been down though is I strongly feel the need to move out of Habersham. I've been lonely in a way that I think is unhealthy. I want to be able to socialize more with people my own age and so forth, but I have no certain plans anymore. I've been tempted to cancel my trip (or postpone it) and use the money I've saved up to move out to Atlanta or Boston or somewhere. A friend of mine told me to not cancel the trip though and I need it. I need adventure. I want to accomplish something off my bucket list.

I'll keep writing regardless.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

A Life Update for Winter

It is not by design that I am writing a life update upon the new season (though I could make it be). I truly have neglected this blog in the past few months, only recently picking it up to write about how shitty the architecture was in the 1950s-1960s-1970s. I also wrote the "Why I Won't Have Kids Until I am 30" post.

First and foremost, in my last "Life Update" post I was discussing my progress in working on my MFA in Poetry materials. Now, I have completed that process. I feel it is an adequate accomplishment.

Working on my portfolio was difficult because I had a lot of filler and a lot of poems that needed heavy revision or needed to be replaced. Thankfully, with help of Monique Kluczykowski, a professor at GSC I had who also partakes in facebook and is also looking to getting her MFA at Iowa, I was able to create some necessary deadlines and write poems that are reasonably reflective of the themes I wish to use in the future and the poems turned out to be pretty decent. I gave her a deadline in December to have 5 poems and ended up writing 8, many of which landed in my portfolio. My deadline for my portfolio being done was December 15th, which was the first deadline for Vanderbilt. I decided to apply to Vanderbilt because not only is it a good program and not only does it have a good financial aid package, but the application is also free. Plus the deadline gave me a reason to get the portfolio done and it would give me an idea of how the MFA application process would be.

As I started applying my choice of schools started differing. I also need to backtrack a bit and explain something that I decided before I began this process in earnest. For awhile I've been contemplating the MAT in Secondary Education program as well, but I finally decided to not do it. I've been trying to prioritize whether I really want to live in Georgia for another two years and get a degree that is very narrow, or a degree that will help me prepare for both my interest in writing and my interest in higher education. In my previous posts, most recently in my "What I Won't Have Kids" post, I discussed my "30 List" and how I really want to move out of state for a bit. I love Georgia; this is my home and I will die a Braves fan. That being said, I've never left home and I'm growing to have some cabin fever. I could move to Atlanta or Athens and get away from the small town but I don't think that's quite it. I'm disappointed in what I'm seeing in the state, with city and region planning, and most especially with education. Ultimately, either at the college/university or secondary levels, I will be involved in education. Therefore I want to be in a state that cares about education. I don't feel Georgia does. There's evidence in the budget cuts, the heavy push for charter schools (which I highly frown upon), but also in the disillusionment in the most passionate teachers that I've seen and seeing what curriculum they are given. For instance, 4th graders that I've substituted are supposed to know the difference between point of view and perspective of an author of a written work. What is the difference? I don't know. I felt very inadequate in not being able to help them, then I realized there really isn't a difference. Now, this is a national thing, unfortunately, but I feel like the conservatism and apathy of Georgia has provoked me to move out of state for a bit, to gain perspective  about Georgia. I feel before settling somewhere one should live somewhere else and be damn sure he or she wants to spend the rest of his or her life there.

With this in mind, I decided that moving out is a priority. It is necessary to do something for my future in whatever career I choose, but my priority is moving out. This is a goal I had when I graduated; I set a deadline, August 2013, to move out of my parents' house. I intend to keep this goal and expanding it to moving out of state, if possible (and I intend to make it possible). I'm looking primarily at North Carolina, but also the Chicago/Illinois & Indiana areas, and I may look at some other areas out of my comfort zone (Wisconsin, anyone?). I am looking at areas that have good education programs; UNC-Chapel Hill has a MAT in English that is one year, so I would still get my certification and master's in time.

I intend to place my optimism in getting accepted into a MFA program. I applied to no programs in the state of Georgia. All of the programs I applied to are fully funded for all students. Instead of 4 or 5 MFA programs, as I had initially intended, I applied to 7. Many of my schools changed. I applied to LSU, U of Mississippi, NC State, NC-Greensboro, Purdue, Florida, and Vanderbilt. It cost $500, give or take.

That's right, $500+/-. Why? Most of these schools had an average of $50-60 cost to apply, but there's other elements at play as well. For instance, to send a transcript for your institution you have to pay a fee and most of the MFA programs require two official transcripts from every school. I went to two institutions so I had to pay around $20 for these transcripts each time. That's reasonable. To send GRE scores, however, you had to pay $25 per institution. Because I sent two of my freebie GRE scores to MAT programs, I had to pay that for 5 institutions. So to apply to an institution I would end up paying close to $80 and $90 per university. It sucked for me because it was during the Christmas break, which meant because I am a substitute teacher I wouldn't get a gig until late Janurary and because I work at the library, which pays once a month, I just saw my back account go down and down and down. It was wretched for a miser like me. That being said, I certainly understand that financial cost is about the commitment you have for doing this and I am definitely committed to getting into one of these MFA programs.

What will I do if I don't get in? My hope is that given my experience in education and library services, two fields that transcend state lines, I may actually get a job in another state. I will move out regardless. That is a certainty.

The bittersweet part of this is whether or not I will have money. See, most people before moving out will save up a bunch of money. I am frugal, but I also decided to travel big before this period. I am going to Peru, and I intend to backpack in Peru and Argentina. So there's that.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

First Post of the Fall; A Simple Life Update

I haven't posted on this blog in nearly a month, since I was dreadfully overcome with a sinus infection, so I think it's high time for a new post, and I'm in a self-indulgent mood so I'll talk about what's been going on.

Things are starting to move forward. A symbolic gesture toward progress was made earlier in the week when I sold my 1992 Toyota Corolla, which I have had since 2006 (ie a junior in high school). Even though I am still without my desired car, the 1996 Ford Contour that has been in the shop for a long time (which was fine until August), I discovered that the Toyota had some residual issues from when it got too hot in the middle of Braselton traffic. After it got hot it affected my transmission or head; in any case one of my 4 cylinders wasn't working and the car couldn't get enough power so I was dragging as I drove, barely making it up hills. The issue could be fixed but it wasn't worth it and I was happy to sell it to a 19 year old auto mechanic student so he could fix it up for his girlfriend. It was very much a symbolic gesture as it represents cutting things loose and moving on.

I've been reflecting on specific goals I set myself last year around the same time. It was around October that I began my first non theatre position as a film extra while pursuing my interest in education, applying to a variety of different schools with the hopes of moving out. Ultimately I decided to stay at home, though. My strategy was to stay in Habersham because my best chance of getting a job in education and making education contacts was with the contacts I knew in Habersham's schools; this worked because I am a substitute but ultimately it didn't lead into a full time teaching position due to the "Highly Qualified" status necessitated through certification. It sucks because theoretically (and from what I've heard in actuality) it means that a Physicist with a PhD and 20 years of Physics research and lecturing experience wouldn't get a job teaching Physics or math in high school because he or she doesn't have a MAT or BSEd.

Tangent aside, staying in Habersham has been a positive thing; I've rekindled with a great deal of people, including principals, that will serve well in the future as contacts, I've gotten a method of working as a substitute down and therefore understand practical classroom management, and through working at the library and this position as well as keen personal management I've been able to earn a decent living. This being said, I'm still living at home. At the beginning of the Summer I faced two ultimate decisions that I could move out and survive and live on my income pretty well or that if I wanted to do extensive travelling abroad and backpack into the Andean South America I would have to live at home. My decision was made when my mom, diagnosed with breast cancer, said I should live at home because she needed someone to support her (and frankly, my dad is too desensitized to do so). My goal is to have $2,000 in my bank account by the end of the year. With that I will pay for my ticket to Lima, Peru for three weeks, give or take. Then I will try to have $2,500 in my account by June.

That being said, some interesting changes are to be contemplated and tactfully drawn out. I have decided that getting into a MFA in Creative Writing will be my priority (in reality I decided this a few posts before, but I will reiterate it). I still intend to apply to MAT programs, but the MFA will suit my needs best. I will teach, but my interest in writing will be nurtured in an environment with peers that share my love and interest in similar subjects. Mainly, though, it will help me with a couple of goals that I set last October and last year. For one, I want to move out. Period. I gave my mom and my interest in going to South America this year, but I made it a goal to move out, even if it is in Habersham, within 2 years ie by a August 2013 deadline. The MFA will give me a job and I only intend to apply to programs that are fully funded so I can afford housing. I also have a goal of living outside of Georgia; I love Georgia and I wouldn't mind settling here but I made this goal because even though I have traveled outside of this state I want the experience of living outside of it for proper perspective. I owe myself this opportunity; I don't want to be 40 and hating Georgia but not being able to do anything about it because I have obligations and expenses to worry about.

The MAT program will give me less of that but I'm tiptoeing into being ok with it. I have a special friend who has given me optimism by working as a tutor and doing well in the program. I will have to stay in the state of Georgia to get in-state tuition. Make no mistake; I view the MAT as an undergraduate experience, which I don't care to have, but I have optimism that if I apply to a big university I can have the opportunity to work at something a little more useful in my goals than being a waiter and I think the extra year will help me by having experience that will help me get a job quicker. In short: the MAT isn't my ideal prospect but I am becoming a little less militant in opposition to it.

I do want to comment on an experience I had with Teach for America. I decided to reapply because I felt that it was a good way to teach and get certification while not fully being in a MAT experience. It didn't work out; I made it past the first stage, but the phone interview didn't go so well even though the interviewer was 15 minutes late in calling me and the questions were extremely vague. Some people have had a positive experience with the program, others haven't. Ultimately, I doubt I would have. I am not a fan of charter schools. I will have to elaborate on that in a future post, but I feel charter schools are not doing anything truly positive to enrich students' lives that's tangible. They're sentimental, emotional, but they don't actually improve students' performances, they dilute money from public schools, they dilute attention from public schools, and they destabilize teachers thinking that teachers are the problem (they're not, Michelle Rhee). Teach for America is essentially a recruiting force for charter schools and like charter schools they place preference on emotional qualities such as passion and drive for change. Of course every teacher wants to make a difference in a child's life; that's what most teachers go in to do. There's a difference between a teacher who can teach and a Havard grad who led the Chess Club and chooses to boost his resume by suffering one year with a class full of lower-income students. That maybe bitterness talking, but I realized this was not how I wanted to get into my career in between the TFA stages and I think I sabotaged my own opportunity. Oh well. I will be fine. Probably. (As I said I'm starting to articulate an opinion on charter schools to be posted later).

Also, coming on the 18th will be my GRE test date. So the prospect of Graduate School is looming. Starting this week until the 18th I intend to study, but I also intend to develop my portfolio. I looked up the deadlines for the programs I am most interested in and noted them today. Changes will begin. It will be nice.

Sunday, September 9, 2012

New Term: Haughty Suffering Complex

This week, I shall attempt to describe new terms that are apt in appropriately conveying specific situations or individuals; some may be funny, most will not be. My hope, humbly, is to accurate describe a situation that many people undergo. Many of these contain snark, something that may be on the rise as I suffer through my biannual sinus infection.

What is Haughty Suffering Complex?

Obviously it has to do with individuals looking down upon other people, hence the placement of "haughty."

The definition I use for Haughty Suffering Complex is that HSC is where people believe in a quantitative measure of suffering, ie an individual thinks he or she suffers more than you regardless of what you are going through.

A typical conversation might be like this:

"Man, I'm really having a bad day. I got a fever and a cold and couldn't go into work today; all I did was stay up all night and sit around."

"Pst. Please. You think you're having a bad day? I got a fever, and a cold, and AIDS, and I had to go into work today and work with a 106 degree temperature and a diminishing immune system."

As you can see from the previous conversation, even though person A is having a bad day person B is not impressed by said bad day because they suffer more, always.

My dad is a notorious with his HSC. Whatever you've done, my dad has had worse. Had to wash a lot of dishes at work? My dad had to wash 7,000 dishes while on the USS La Salle. Have a cyst on your rear? My dad had a cyst somewhere worse. Get sunburned for a week? My dad got water blisters while in Bahrain.

People who have HSC always suffer more, and if you complain they will ensure you that they suffer more.

Truth is, of course, suffering isn't quantitative. It is qualitative. Therefore, having a haughtiness about your suffering is asinine because suffering is a) fairly relative and b) everyone suffers. There's a brilliant Monty Python skit, "The Fire Yorkshiremen," that expresses HSC: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xe1a1wHxTyo.

There is a sub sect of HSC, where people who have HSC are specific in their HSC through age. For instance one may say "It's hard eating just ____" and an older person says "In my day we were lucky to have any food at all. You kids are spoiled."

This is called 'Andy Rooney Complex.'

Saturday, September 8, 2012

On Post-College

Don't avoid real life. It's not too shabby. 

You have to face it sometime. Just jump in. It'll suck, you'll have struggles. I did, most certainly. It's how you find out what you're made of, though. You realize you're doing the right profession, or the wrong profession. It helps you figure out what you want to do better than college because when you're facing back rent, student loan debt, or whatever, you begin to realize if you're making the right decision, or if you need to change your direction. It helps you prioritize what you want to do in life, whether it helps fuel your drive to succeed in your current pursuit or if it makes you decide to explore options. 

Then there's graduate school. Graduate school isn't for the faint of heart. Graduate school is designed for people who know what they want. If you do not know what you want, you should not go to graduate school. And unless you have experience working in a profession in the real world, I'm inclined to not be sure if you know what you want. It's, in a simplistic metaphor, like buying shoes that you're not sure if they fit. And graduate school is a really expensive pair of shoes. You certainly want to make sure they fit, especially knowing that graduate school WILL NOT guarantee you a job.

When you do get a job that's nice, you'll see that it is quite nice. There's nothing lovelier than spending your day earning money and having a social life afterwards, rather than going to classes and being in debt or poor to have a social life or working your ass off at a job.

My advice to graduating or upcoming graduating classes; 22 is a nice young age. Explore yourself. Explore your options. Don't settle down yet, but have enough self awareness to have direction or objectives. Don't be aimless in just working odd jobs.