Spring 2017 Life Update

So how's 2017 so far?

It's actually been quite lovely in spite of me not quite living up to my 2017 Goals. As I outlined in my post 2007 Me vs. 2017 Me I had several goals. I was to sketch twice a week. I was to work on Spanish.

So...I did work on these goals, but not with the degree that I had initially outlined. There's no routine in my sketching and my study of Spanish so unfortunately they haven't become habits. I even followed through and lead a program on sketching which certainly enabled me to learn more about technique and practice more -- alongside my other art programs such as watercolor -- but it's still rudimentary.

That's ok though.

We Shot a Movie

In the 2017 post linked above, I mentioned that I was in preproduction for a new film, currently titled Will. In February we completed principal photography and my DP has been color correcting the footage (while working several other jobs for long hours -- Go Kevin!). Reshoots are to happen soon and then postproduction.


Will was a breakthrough of sorts in terms of finding my voice. After writing scripts for nearly 10 years I'm finally at a point where I know what kind of movies I want to make. Will is a script that underwent 10 drafts -- sometimes for minor changes, sometimes for major ones -- but what came out of it was a lean script with more action and less dialogue. Yet, I feel the dialogue hit the point a lot more. Curtains went from 18 pages to 12 pages. Will stayed between 5-7 pages.

What I've realized is that I do have a type of film that I love. I love movies that are simple, character-driven, and visually inventive or bold. Will got me closer to this based on the footage I witness and my colleagues have asserted that Will had a better plot to execute. I'm proud of the work we shot, particularly from my DP. He was more confident in what we shot and our footage will stand out because of his lighting.

Make no mistake: everyone was on point.

I'm still growing as a director though. To back off from tooting my own horn, I do feel that I have to work on my communication. It's important for any film director to not micromanage -- but not be a washcloth either. It's hard middle and it's a skill that only comes out of experience. I'm getting closer to this middle, but I'm still not there yet.

Travel

In the 2007 vs. 2017 post, I mentioned that I was going to Paris and Hong Kong. Since that post I've completed both those trips! I wrote about Hong Kong but I didn't mention Paris, a relatively lifelong dream that I only gave myself 4 days to complete (with a stopover in Lyon for good measure).

Because the stay was short I won't go too much into this 2017 goal but I will share my Paris impressions:

• Paris isn't a movie. It's a real, breathing city. It's like Europe's NYC. There are a lot of people -- don't expect a relaxing, romantic time unless you pay extra for it.
• I know bread isn't good for you -- but if there's a heaven in this world it's either a Vienna coffeehouse or a French boulangerie. I've taken on the habit of buying a baguette from Publix every morning in my bastardized attempt to make up for this. 
• The Eiffel Tower and the Louvre are as magnificent as you could dream of -- in spite of the tourists. 
• The Musee d'Orsay was disappointing, frankly. 
• Montmartre is an ok district to stay in but I was confronted by a scammer trying to sell me a friendship bracelet. He grabbed me and I yelled back. This is a common scam. I don't recommend this.
• Watching the way locals act in a French bistro was truly a highlight -- I sat at a French bistro for lunch and witnessed locals greeting the host, shaking the hands of the chef. I found this treatment of others and reverence for what everyone in a restaurant--server, chef--does lovely.
• Speaking of Parisians -- I never had any issues with the locals. Everyone was wonderful.

The last thing I'll say about my Paris trip is a lesson: I plan to never go abroad again for less than a week.

The very last thing I'll say in regards to 2017 travel goals: the ticket to Arizona has been "purchased" (I used my Delta SkyMiles to get it). My "easy" travel goal to get to the Grand Canyon is finally happening in September.

Quality Time and Looking Ahead

Between now and the end of the year there will be no traveling abroad or any films shot. Now I say this knowing I'm working on a few scripts that I plan to develop over the summer to show and share. I'm planning new trips next year back to Latin America. I have weekend trips planned.





But I want quality time with my folks.


My dad had a series of mini-strokes in April. Tests are being completed by physicians to determine the cause but I have no doubt, nor does my family, that my dad's lifestyle choices -- eating habits, lethargy -- influenced the strokes. Dad has surprised us all through his self-discipline in changing his eating habits. His inability to speak or to have slurred speech scared him and both he and I want him to live longer.

Mom had her own confrontation with mortality again. Thankfully she herself is doing well, even if she's not completely physically healthy. Work has worn her down, of course, because that's what physical labor does. A month after Dad's mini-strokes, however, one of Mom's closest friends died suddenly of cardiac arrest -- on her birthday, no less. This devastated Mom and her coworkers. When I received the news I immediately called Home -- Mom couldn't speak, she was in shock and in tears. She called me the next morning and was unable to complete sentences without crying.

I want to spend more time with everyone. So that's my to-do list for the Summer. Find more time to spend with family, with Rory, and with my friends as well.

First, I want to help Mom retire. I've wanted Mom to retire at 60 -- her body won't be able to handle her job for much longer -- and after her friend died I'm determined. Why? Well frankly, I don't want her to die while still working at a manufacturing plant. I want her to be able to enjoy retirement. We've begun talks on how to take action by adding more income in 401K and what her pension will bring in real dollars. This is going to happen next year, hell or high water.

It's a very realistic goal because my sister has a job now! Yay! She's going to be a Kindergarten teacher with a really good income in a great school district. This means two things: mom is not necessarily helping her with any income (and put more money in her 401K) and my sister has to grow in personal finance. She's admitted she's had issues with financial planning. So in conjunction with helping my mom, this summer I plan to help my sister with personal finance goals and coming up with a realistic budget for her ultimate goal: to move out.

Last, I have a weekend trip planned...with Rory. I'm calling it a dogcation. Since last year I've included her in more and more activities as I've felt the weight of not being with her. So a dogcation needs to happen.

Final Thoughts

Relaxation has not been easy. I said at the beginning of the year I wanted to take it easy more. For January and February that wasn't happening. Work, preproduction and production of Will, and the stresses of a relationship (as mentioned in the Hong Kong post) led to a burnout.

Since March, however, I've been letting life get easier. Spending time with family and the dog is one way. I love working on and having goals but it's weird to have a goal that is "take it easy." But it's time to take it easy for 2017.

Finding My Space in Hong Kong

If you're the kind of person who retreats from scenes where too many people bump into you or look at you, Hong Kong is a tough proposition. There's no preparation for the sheer number of people that jam into the Central MTR Line alongside you. All you can do is stare at the Cantonese ads for Kotex and Guardians of the Galaxy, vol. 2. 

In Hong Kong, you're not going to have personal space. 

In my heart I knew that Hong Kong was going to be a challenge to my sense of space. That's one reason East Asia, a region I often wanderlusted in college, fell off in my travel priorities. Despite the love I had for the East Asian cultural things that many U.S. folks have -- food, history, martial arts films -- I grew away from China, Hong Kong, and Japan. As this Washington Post map shows, this is a region with half of humanity. Did I, an individual who values his personal space and open nature, really want to be in the middle of half of humanity?

Density

Half of humanity seems like hyperbole. It's one destination. Half of humanity will not be in one of China's Special Administrative Regions. Yet, Hong Kong has 7 million + people within an area of 1, 064 sq miles. That's <17,000 per sq mile. That's enough to be 4th in population density in the World for countries and dependent territories.

One night I met up with a friend I had chatted with online before the trip. She joined me for Indian food which I hadn't realized meant going to the Chungking Mansions. Chungking is just down the street from where I was staying, on Nathan Rd, and was crowded with peddlers insisting on business cards, soliciting...trying to earn a buck. During my walks I had yet to take a card from these men, but when my friend Ida (not her real name) took one chaos ensued! Taking one card was a way of saying "I'm open" and within seconds 5-7 men with cards surrounded her, right in her face. I found it exhausting and chilling.

But she just dealt with it.

That's the key to the traffic. It can be overwhelming but you learn to adapt. For most Hong Kongers there is no personal space. No one can afford to have it. Most people were like my friend Ida in that they had their own lives and just did the best they could. She was like most young Hong Kongers living with her parents. This wasn't a personal issue or failure to launch. It's simply an economic necessity. It's too expensive to have space.

One of the notable sights for me were hotels charging $78 HKD for two hours stays. Ida and I were on our way from Sai Kung Pier on the MTR when I noticed the hotel. I already knew the answer to my question "What is that about" when she giggled and informed me that because space is at a premium, some couples will pay to have 2 hours of privacy so they can have sex.

Ida was a great friend to have because she helped me reckon with Hong Kong. She shared with me the desire many have for space. It's hard to breathe, she felt, and sometimes she would stay in her room away from her family. She remarked on the collective RBF that people had.

Yet Ida understood what I understood: there are positives in having so many people in one place.

People and Food

Despite personal space challenges, sometimes the energy of everyone was captivating. People were everywhere and I generally like to not be around crowds of people. Yet, there's something beautiful in everyone bringing their uniqueness to a city, particularly in the uniqueness Hong Kongers bring to their food.

When I was in Paris in March I wanted to do a foodie/cooking tour but all the tours were booked. I decided to rectify this in my trip planning for HK and booked a foodie tour. During the tour we spent quality time tasting the real deal Cantonese dishes that restaurants in the U.S. imitated like wonton soup (with wontons so large it couldn't be eaten in one bite). We had char siu, dried fruit, dim sum, and egg tarts while walking around the street markets and wet markets.

Beyond Cantonese food there was so much different and wonderful food. Hong Kong has pretty much any kind of Asian food. Indian food, Sichuan and Hunan food, Thai, Japanese, Korean -- they were all in Hong Kong in delicious quantities.

Here's the thing with no space: no one cooks. People pay for a premium to have space so people don't fill up their places with substantial kitchens. Thus everyone eats out. It costs less than having a kitchen. Food in Hong Kong is cheap because of this -- I rarely spent more than the equivalent of $10 US on a meal and I ate well.

Oddly enough even restaurants don't have kitchens. It's common for restaurants to just use microwaves or order their foods from other places that do have kitchens. I ate at Dragon Restaurant in Central for their BBQ pork and roasted goose. During the foodie tour we were led into the kitchen where whole pigs would be roasted over the fire. Our tour guide informed us that restaurants wore their kitchen status on their sleeve as a badge of honor. "We have an ACTUAL kitchen."

There are multiple kind of HK restaurants -- dim sums, noodle shops, roast meat places -- and my favorite kind of Hong Kong restaurant was the cha chaan teng. The phrase means "tea restaurant" and was generally for places where locals would get morning or afternoon tea as well as traditional tea food -- baos (buns), instant noodles, Hong Kong style french toast (which had peanut butter in the middle of the bread slices...hmm).

Whenever I travel I try to find a coffee shop or breakfast place that I make my go-to spot. I'll go there every morning as a way of being a local. My go-to spot in HK ended up being a cha chaan teng called Kam Wah Cafe in Mongkok (still on Kowloon). I would go there every morning and have Hong Kong milk tea -- Ceylon dark leaf tea with evaporated milk -- and a pineapple bao plus other items like BBQ pork instant noodles. It represented the best of Hong Kong. Chaotic? Sure. Swarms of people? Absolutely. Delicious food? Of course. English spoken? Not really, but in HK as long as you have money you can sit and use gestures and you'll be served.

As I would eat there by myself I would never be given a table just to myself. They would sit me with someone else. This space issue ended up becoming a blessing as it gave me, a solo traveler, someone to speak with. One guy was a local who gave me some helpful hints. Another was a lady from Singapore in Hong Kong on business. On my second to last day I was sat with someone from Pittsburgh and we developed a bond. Let's call her Sarah. Sarah and I chatted about our plans -- she had just arrived, I was about to leave -- and my plans that day to go back to a place called Sai Kung were thrown out as we made plans to hang out. I joined her as she made through her foodie list and going to Victoria Peak, as we got lost trying to find Central station, and as we shared a grand finale Sichuan-style dinner.

The U.S. never worries about this -- if by yourself, you're given a table by yourself or you sit at the bar. No one talks to you necessarily and you'll feel alone, for better or worse. In HK, I never felt alone, for worse and, with Kam Wah, for better.

Other Experiences

I had other wonderful experiences in Hong Kong.

To find personal space, I found Sai Kung -- a new territory northeast of Kowloon. I was able to book a hike in the country park on Sai Kung called the "deserted beaches hike." Despite being 7 miles and during a hot, humid afternoon, this hike was ideal for having your own space in the midst of breathtaking beaches and lush forests. I had several moments of my "transcendent profanities" gazing at the crisp blue water.

There were plenty of places like this to unpack and unwind. These places are always my favorites -- places like Hong Kong Park, Hong Kong Botanical Gardens, Nian Garden & Chi Lin Nunnery.

Perhaps the most strikingly difference from my prior travel experiences is my willingness to indulge. Usually I am frugal but my coworkers -- perhaps noticing the tension I've had through substantial work, filmmaking, and writing -- coerced me to take up a massage at the Mandarin Oriental at Central.

Reflection

I continue to evolve as a traveler. This experience has emboldened my interest in East Asia once again. I crave foods and beverages I had in Hong Kong such as milk tea and baos.

I continue to evolve in what I want. I've grown to value (minor) indulgences and value the idea of "treating yourself." As I embarked on this trip I came out of a personal relationship (which I won't go into) that challenged my character. I was challenged in how I value myself. This relationship shook my self-love and my self-regard, leaving me wondering if I deserved anything, if I was worth anything.

Hong Kong was an enabling trip to realize I am worth something. It's easy to think that the substantial amount of people will leave to you feel alone but my experience didn't. While I was sometimes overwhelmed, as with experiences such as Kam Wah Cafe it's easy to share space and let people in.