If you're the kind of person who retreats from scenes where too many people bump into you or look at you, Hong Kong is a tough proposition. There's no preparation for the sheer number of people that jam into the Central MTR Line alongside you. All you can do is stare at the Cantonese ads for Kotex and Guardians of the Galaxy, vol. 2.
In Hong Kong, you're not going to have personal space.
In my heart I knew that Hong Kong was going to be a challenge to my sense of space. That's one reason East Asia, a region I often wanderlusted in college, fell off in my travel priorities. Despite the love I had for the East Asian cultural things that many U.S. folks have -- food, history, martial arts films -- I grew away from China, Hong Kong, and Japan. As this Washington Post map shows, this is a region with half of humanity. Did I, an individual who values his personal space and open nature, really want to be in the middle of half of humanity?
Density
Half of humanity seems like hyperbole. It's one destination. Half of humanity will not be in one of China's Special Administrative Regions. Yet, Hong Kong has 7 million + people within an area of 1, 064 sq miles. That's <17,000 per sq mile. That's enough to be 4th in population density in the World for countries and dependent territories.
One night I met up with a friend I had chatted with online before the trip. She joined me for Indian food which I hadn't realized meant going to the Chungking Mansions. Chungking is just down the street from where I was staying, on Nathan Rd, and was crowded with peddlers insisting on business cards, soliciting...trying to earn a buck. During my walks I had yet to take a card from these men, but when my friend Ida (not her real name) took one chaos ensued! Taking one card was a way of saying "I'm open" and within seconds 5-7 men with cards surrounded her, right in her face. I found it exhausting and chilling.
But she just dealt with it.
That's the key to the traffic. It can be overwhelming but you learn to adapt. For most Hong Kongers there is no personal space. No one can afford to have it. Most people were like my friend Ida in that they had their own lives and just did the best they could. She was like most young Hong Kongers living with her parents. This wasn't a personal issue or failure to launch. It's simply an economic necessity. It's too expensive to have space.
One of the notable sights for me were hotels charging $78 HKD for two hours stays. Ida and I were on our way from Sai Kung Pier on the MTR when I noticed the hotel. I already knew the answer to my question "What is that about" when she giggled and informed me that because space is at a premium, some couples will pay to have 2 hours of privacy so they can have sex.
Ida was a great friend to have because she helped me reckon with Hong Kong. She shared with me the desire many have for space. It's hard to breathe, she felt, and sometimes she would stay in her room away from her family. She remarked on the collective RBF that people had.
Yet Ida understood what I understood: there are positives in having so many people in one place.
People and Food
Despite personal space challenges, sometimes the energy of everyone was captivating. People were everywhere and I generally like to not be around crowds of people. Yet, there's something beautiful in everyone bringing their uniqueness to a city, particularly in the uniqueness Hong Kongers bring to their food.
When I was in Paris in March I wanted to do a foodie/cooking tour but all the tours were booked. I decided to rectify this in my trip planning for HK and booked a foodie tour. During the tour we spent quality time tasting the real deal Cantonese dishes that restaurants in the U.S. imitated like wonton soup (with wontons so large it couldn't be eaten in one bite). We had char siu, dried fruit, dim sum, and egg tarts while walking around the street markets and wet markets.
Beyond Cantonese food there was so much different and wonderful food. Hong Kong has pretty much any kind of Asian food. Indian food, Sichuan and Hunan food, Thai, Japanese, Korean -- they were all in Hong Kong in delicious quantities.
Here's the thing with no space: no one cooks. People pay for a premium to have space so people don't fill up their places with substantial kitchens. Thus everyone eats out. It costs less than having a kitchen. Food in Hong Kong is cheap because of this -- I rarely spent more than the equivalent of $10 US on a meal and I ate well.
Oddly enough even restaurants don't have kitchens. It's common for restaurants to just use microwaves or order their foods from other places that do have kitchens. I ate at Dragon Restaurant in Central for their BBQ pork and roasted goose. During the foodie tour we were led into the kitchen where whole pigs would be roasted over the fire. Our tour guide informed us that restaurants wore their kitchen status on their sleeve as a badge of honor. "We have an ACTUAL kitchen."
There are multiple kind of HK restaurants -- dim sums, noodle shops, roast meat places -- and my favorite kind of Hong Kong restaurant was the cha chaan teng. The phrase means "tea restaurant" and was generally for places where locals would get morning or afternoon tea as well as traditional tea food -- baos (buns), instant noodles, Hong Kong style french toast (which had peanut butter in the middle of the bread slices...hmm).
Whenever I travel I try to find a coffee shop or breakfast place that I make my go-to spot. I'll go there every morning as a way of being a local. My go-to spot in HK ended up being a cha chaan teng called Kam Wah Cafe in Mongkok (still on Kowloon). I would go there every morning and have Hong Kong milk tea -- Ceylon dark leaf tea with evaporated milk -- and a pineapple bao plus other items like BBQ pork instant noodles. It represented the best of Hong Kong. Chaotic? Sure. Swarms of people? Absolutely. Delicious food? Of course. English spoken? Not really, but in HK as long as you have money you can sit and use gestures and you'll be served.
As I would eat there by myself I would never be given a table just to myself. They would sit me with someone else. This space issue ended up becoming a blessing as it gave me, a solo traveler, someone to speak with. One guy was a local who gave me some helpful hints. Another was a lady from Singapore in Hong Kong on business. On my second to last day I was sat with someone from Pittsburgh and we developed a bond. Let's call her Sarah. Sarah and I chatted about our plans -- she had just arrived, I was about to leave -- and my plans that day to go back to a place called Sai Kung were thrown out as we made plans to hang out. I joined her as she made through her foodie list and going to Victoria Peak, as we got lost trying to find Central station, and as we shared a grand finale Sichuan-style dinner.
The U.S. never worries about this -- if by yourself, you're given a table by yourself or you sit at the bar. No one talks to you necessarily and you'll feel alone, for better or worse. In HK, I never felt alone, for worse and, with Kam Wah, for better.
Other Experiences
I had other wonderful experiences in Hong Kong.
To find personal space, I found Sai Kung -- a new territory northeast of Kowloon. I was able to book a hike in the country park on Sai Kung called the "deserted beaches hike." Despite being 7 miles and during a hot, humid afternoon, this hike was ideal for having your own space in the midst of breathtaking beaches and lush forests. I had several moments of my "transcendent profanities" gazing at the crisp blue water.
There were plenty of places like this to unpack and unwind. These places are always my favorites -- places like Hong Kong Park, Hong Kong Botanical Gardens, Nian Garden & Chi Lin Nunnery.
Perhaps the most strikingly difference from my prior travel experiences is my willingness to indulge. Usually I am frugal but my coworkers -- perhaps noticing the tension I've had through substantial work, filmmaking, and writing -- coerced me to take up a massage at the Mandarin Oriental at Central.
Reflection
I continue to evolve as a traveler. This experience has emboldened my interest in East Asia once again. I crave foods and beverages I had in Hong Kong such as milk tea and baos.
I continue to evolve in what I want. I've grown to value (minor) indulgences and value the idea of "treating yourself." As I embarked on this trip I came out of a personal relationship (which I won't go into) that challenged my character. I was challenged in how I value myself. This relationship shook my self-love and my self-regard, leaving me wondering if I deserved anything, if I was worth anything.
Hong Kong was an enabling trip to realize I am worth something. It's easy to think that the substantial amount of people will leave to you feel alone but my experience didn't. While I was sometimes overwhelmed, as with experiences such as Kam Wah Cafe it's easy to share space and let people in.
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