How I realized my degree was wrong for me

I majored in Theatre. 

Is there anything wrong with majoring in Theatre? Not inherently. I discussed this in length with my post "So You Want to Major in Theatre" (http://lookinghomewardandetc.blogspot.com/2013/06/so-you-want-to-major-in-drama.html) and I suppose this article is a sequel. Yet, I think it is applicable to anyone's major, because anyone can major in something and realize--too late--it wasn't right for them.

When a person says "I majored in Theatre" it's like saying to a person with a day job degree (education, business, engineering, etc) "I do crack." So automatically with saying "I didn't major in the right degree" they think "Oh yeah he has job problems this is reinforcing my intelligence and my superiority complex" but that's not quite case. My program was a great program. For a long time it has received enormous acclaim and it emboldened me with several soft skills like ambition and drive, follow through with projects and goals, the ability to troubleshoot, and the qualities of leadership or willingness to take on responsibility. Part of the reason I don't completely regret my major is that I feel majoring in theatre was responsible for this. As far as jobs are concerned, I had a job right after graduation and worked in Atlanta. The only reason I didn't sustain the job was because...I didn't want to.

So what's the problem? What led me to forgo my major was rekindling my love of writing. Instead of directing a play for my senior thesis as I had anticipated for my entire time as a theatre major, I decided to write a play, entitled "The Five Stages of Baldness." I realized through this process that it was writing I loved, that writing was my passion. I always wrote--for the school newspaper in high school, stories in elementary school--but now I understood how to be serious about writing creatively.

To borrow a metaphor from a date (that didn't work out in the end), writing is my wife. I have hobbies, like playing guitar, like electrics, like hiking, but writing is what I try to do everyday. As painful as it is, as wretched as my output might be in any given day, I have to write something. Even if it is a measly blog post. Writing is my wife.

Film is the hot girl next door that I often fantasize about and try to prod my wife into having a threesome with. Science is an ex-girlfriend that I'm on good terms with and still have a friendship with, my Elaine Benes.

And Theatre? Theatre is my ex-girlfriend that I had a bad breakup with but now we're marginally on talking terms and we often have chats in the midst of substantial lingering tension.

Realizing artistic writing was my calling or rather what I wanted to dedicate my open energies to was the first step in realizing my degree was wrong for me.

The second step was an interest in a quality life. I want to spend my twenties--before I have children, etc--travelling, doing interesting things, developing significant relationships. I'm a firm believer that any artist needs to live a life that is interesting to produce great work. It was even my thesis for my "American Voice" essay in 11th grade on Herman Melville. Melville had been a sailor who went around the world. Mark Twain did cool shit with Tesla. Ernest Hemingway hunted his way through Africa and covered the Spanish Civil War. It was in a rehearsal for a client's show that I realized if I wanted to produce good writing I needed to spend more time hiking Machu Picchu and less time stuck in a booth for 12-14 hours.

That's the key for anyone--regardless of any major--to realize that your degree wasn't suited for you. It's the moment of clarity you have upon the realization that your quality of life is being compromised. You come home and hate life EVERY DAY. The food you put in your mouth doesn't taste right. The vacations you take aren't as fun as they should be because you have too much anxiety from your job or degree. 

Many people take upon theatre and struggle. There's a feeling in every artist that their efforts will go nowhere. Yet someone who majored in theatre will continue on because this is part of the game. It is a challenge and the fight is worth it. An acting major will continue to struggle until fulfilling roles start to come in but that struggle will feel worth it. That individual's quality of life is defined by his or her life in art, which includes that struggle. 

In all honesty, I can live with that struggle in writing. I have; the struggle of trying to get published, the struggle of being denied by MFA programs, etc. Yet, I persevere because I find a quality of life in that.I also find a quality in life through my day job as a substitute teacher because the students influence my writing and because I find hope in the students. I find a quality of life in being a librarian because I spent my days helping out people and working with data and media. It was the best combination of my interests and I've decided to pursue a MLIS in order to have a day job that impacts my art in a positive way. It is a part of my quality of life.

The problem, or the challenge of realizing your degree was wrong is the consequences. The "Now What?" moment. It's a moment with anyone that has this moment of clarity--regardless of major. I knew people in medical school who left in the middle of their program in order to go back to...Law School. I knew people who started off as engineering majors, got their degrees, then went into nursing or teaching math. The consequences come with not being able to find jobs that will afford the opportunity to work in something else. The consequences come as you find a day job that allows you a quality of life that is positive but also requires an advanced degree. After majoring in engineering, someone may want to teach math. Great, but that requires certification. You might be able to get experience via substitute teaching or being a paraprofessional but you'll have to get certification with a Master of Arts in Teaching. There's no scholarships for that. 

How can you realize your degree isn't right before it's too late?

Honestly there is no way. I mean it would be beneficial to be a shadow to someone in a job you're interested in while in high school or have an internship as early as possible in university. Get a vocational degree as a backup while in high school or minor or double major if that's feasible. 

Mainly, keep your twenties open. Don't have kids until you're settled. Don't marry unless you know a special person is your reason for existence. Travel a lot because it helps with perspective.

That's the best I can do for a measly blog post, but understand that if you're struggling with your degree choice or career choice it is always possible to find your way. Just because Justin Bieber is way younger than you and has a fortune doesn't mean a damn thing.

Mostly.