I use this blog to share insights through life experience more often than I use it to comment on my trade and artistic craft of writing.
As I mentioned in a couple of posts before, writing is my wife and film...well film is like the hot neighbor that I sometimes fantasize about. I write scripts, which I guess is like threesome...but I'm already rambling.
This blog is often my board for talking about my views of good scripts, good writing, film, etc, but also my life, my progress. It's called "Beneath the Wheel" after a pessimistic coming of age novel by Hermann Hesse. I figured I'd combine my two primary purposes for this blog into one and talk about how film led me to abandon homophobia.
Why talk about this?
It's topical yes, but a thought occurred to me. It was ten years ago that I stopped being homophobic. I can trace the incident to an exact year, 2003, when I was fourteen because that was when I first saw a movie that somehow managed to alter my views of homosexuality and being LBGT.
Let me start off with a little background.
First, I'm heterosexual.
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Second, I grew up in a small rural Georgia community. I grew up in an area that had more religious places of worship than locally owned mom and pop restaurants. It wasn't uncommon to feel the pressure of this religious culture, particularly on someone like me. At the time I considered myself on the threshold of being religious, but I was confused in some ways. I grew up in a conservative family, where we were taught to vote Republican and in any mock election we had at school were insisted to vote Republican (at my elementary school I voted for Bob Dole in 1996 and in middle school I voted for George W. Bush in 2000). My father held views that were near the extreme of the Right and frankly was homophobic. The most liberal thought he could muster on homosexuality was "Freddy Mercury was a pretty good singer for a queer."
Consequently, I was a Republican, conservative, and most definitely a homophobic person. I concurred with my father about how homosexuality had no value in society because it would not contribute to procreation. Many people were leaning Right after 9/11 unfortunately. This was before the invasion of Iraq, Hurricane Katrina, etc.
Despite this conservatism, I wasn't raised in a particularly religious household. My mom was religious and extreme Republican and my sister found New Age Christianity. My father wasn't religious, however, and never took us to church. I would find out later that despite his conservatism my father rejected organized religion and avowed himself a Deist. This would play an important role in my ethical development because if I had went to church or grew up in a religious environment I think I would've been different ten years later ie now.
At the time, during middle school, I was having a hard time with religion. I felt I should be religious because I only knew Christianity, but I felt conflicted. Why? Music. I loved AC/DC. I loved Iron Maiden. To my assistant football coach this was "that satanic music"; no joke he said that about my music. If you've ever listened to Iron Maiden you know that while they have albums called "The Number of the Beast" Iron Maiden is less satanic and more nerdy. I felt conflicted in having to choose between music that acted as an appropriate catharsis to me going home to having my parents fight then going to school and being picked on.
There was something also off putting about how religious people at my school were. The most fervent religious individuals, the ones who went to church, listened to Christian rock and were in FCLA were the ones who would often pressure me into reconsidering my de facto secularism. They felt a superiority towards individuals like my eventual friends and myself for not being religious. It wasn't uncommon for me to get lectures by people who spent a fair bit of time picking on me on religion. It wasn't uncommon for people to write in our yearbooks "Jesus died for your sins." Sheesh. No "Have a good Summer?" Worst of all there seemed to be a relaxed attitude about the pressure from the teachers. I had a substitute teacher who asked the class if they went to church and everyone raise their hand...except for me. The substitute teach began staring at me...and soon everyone else stared at me...then he said "Well looks like everyone goes to church."
This background is important because I want you, my reader, to understand what I was like. I was conservative because that was the way we were supposed to be, but there were strains of conflict in my mind about what felt right. I was being given teen study bibles and DC Talk cds from my sister for my birthday, when really I wanted AC/DC and metal. I was being told to be religious and accept all religious principles including homophobia when I felt the people telling me were being hypocritical by picking on me all the time and being snooty, vain, etc.
Make no mistake that now I do not feel strongly opposed to Christianity, but I felt the organized religion my friends and neighbors were experiencing induced a culture of prejudice among people who were homosexual and who were different than them.
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Most people had a poor middle school experience. That period in a person's life is wretched. Puberty? Screw puberty. My experience was no different, but this period is vital to a person's future, more vital than high school because it was when revelations start to appear.
So, how did I stop being conservative, homophobic, and so forth? Movies.
Movies are of course liberal propaganda.
When I was in 8th grade I discovered my love for cinema. I began to feverishly watch movies, taking down AFI's List of the 100 Greatest Movies, finding out what Oscars winners were what, renting movies at Clarkesville Video and marathoning AMC and TCM.
Movies were as important to me as reading because like reading it inspired me to think outside the shell I could've grown up in. I learned to question war and the necessity of war via "Dr. Strangelove." I grew inspired by the audacity of "2001: A Space Odyssey." As I grew older I started exploring world films, such as those by Akira Kurosawa and so forth. That's a whole different post, however.
Movies taught me to be ok with my secularism, with my questioning of what is right and wrong. Movies taught me to be to not be homophobic.
What movie?
"The Birdcage."
That's right. Nathan Lane, Robin Williams, Gene Hackman...this film inspired me to accept homosexuals.
The film itself isn't too original; it was a remake of "La Cage Aux Folles" and as I look back it wasn't the greatest film I ever watched. It was on AMC and I decided to catch it because after seeing "The French Connection" I was on a Gene Hackman phase. Its treatment of homosexuality is a bit flamboyant, with over the top performances by Nathan Lane and Hank Azaria.
Yet I enjoyed the film. It's hard to not enjoy a Mike Nichols film. It was also the first time I really saw homosexuality treated seriously and cautiously on film before.
Most of what one hears in rural Georgia about homosexuality is stereotypes. This film went beyond the stereotypes and into a humanity that I felt was profound.
There were moments of "The Birdcage" that depicted a family with a love that I never had in my family. I knew that there was a difference between film and reality, but I felt through this film it was possible in the world for a homosexual couple to commit themselves to a loving and nurturing family. There was even a scene where the son, played by Dan Flutterman, said he was the only person in college who didn't come from a broken home.
It was the first time I ever thought the question "How is someone who is homosexual different from me?"
I mean as a heterosexual there are certainly differences, but how is someone different besides orientation? Are there not homosexuals who enjoy Iron Maiden? Are there not homosexuals who like "Annie Hall?"
I thought in my mind that homosexuals were seen as so corrupt, but I knew as many heterosexuals who were corrupt, who created broken homes, who were pushers and drug addicts. I was never picked on anyone who was homosexual. What did any homosexual do to me?
The answer was nothing. So why should I care about their orientation? "The Birdcage" was a film that led me to realize that humanity is less defined by one inherent characteristic such as sexual orientation and more by the sum of all parts.
"The Birdcage" played a vital role in my shedding my homophobia. Without it, I wouldn't have many of my closest and loyal friends that happen to be homosexual. I would've been dismissive of anything LGBT like Team Dresh or Against Me! which are two of my favorite bands. More importantly, I would be a narrow minded person, unable to see the reality that diversity exists around us.
So Nathan Lane...take a bow.
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