What Was the Goal Really About? A Fall 2017 Update

My last post was in May. Initially I thought it was too soon to post an update, that not enough has happened, but then I realized: that was five months ago!

The year 2017 has only...87 days left!

So where am I in my 2017 goals?

First, though, I want to elaborate on a couple of elements to my goal-making.

Do I actually write down these goals?

Of course I've written them in this blog. I even have Summer and Fall To-Do Lists. Here's what my Summer To-Do List looked like:

Goals

• Finish 3 drafts of updated “Craigslist Date” idea for script
• FIRST DRAFT DONE (end of May)
• SECOND AND THIRD DRAFTS DONE!
• Have 3rd draft of Hunters
• 3RD DRAFT DONE (7/1/17)
• 4th DRAFT DONE! (8/18)
• Figure out if Due is worth anything (try at least 2 drafts)
• FIRST DRAFT DONE! (6/2)
• Second draft DONE
• THIRD DRAFT DONE! (8/27)
• Practice baking baguettes & croissants
• BAILED

Events -- Arts, Festivals

• Atlanta Underground Film Festival -- August 18-20, 2017 DONE (8/19)
• Atlanta Shortsfest -- July 7-8, 2017 NOT DONE
• Eclipsed @ Synchronicity Theatre -- June 2-25, 2017 BOOKED (6/20) DONE
• Try the Shakespeare Tavern again -- NO

Hiking & Travel

NOTE: Too hot.

• Arabia Mountain DONE
• Sweetwater Creek State Park BAILED
• Asheville weekend

Eating

• Asian Food Fridays
• Cafe Bombay DONE
• Chai Pani place in Ponce DONE
• Yummy Spicy DONE (yay! Finally found an Szechuan restaurant!)
• I’ll also count Kebab & Curry in Buford DONE
• Ameer’s Mediterranean DONE
• Summer Latin American restaurant hunt!
• ADios Cafe DONE
• Fancy Pants dinner
• Canoe DONE
• Revival (regrettably done)

I have a folder in my Google Drive entitled "Life." These are documents that I've created that relate more to my personal well-being or personal development. As I've gotten older I think of myself as it relates to these primary categories: Film, Travel, Library, and Life and I have folders in my Google Drive that correspond with those categories full of lists, goals, and other journals. The "Life" folder has documents such as the 50 List and so forth. It's where I make my seasonal to-do lists.

Beyond my Google Drive I also print out the list and either pin it on a corkboard in my desk area or glue it on a page in my Moleskin journal.

I go through this in order to have permanence in my goal creation. I want to have a tangible element to something in my head. Once a thought or an idea has been put into a document, I can troubleshoot the idea or reckon with it.  It's real. This principle in making a goal feel real is something I've written about numerous times but I always want emphasize how potent this principle is...at least for me.

Do I feel unaccomplished when I am unable to complete a goal?

Well...yeah. As you can see in my Summer To-Do List there are several goals that have "BAIL" or "Not completed." I always want to do everything I think and write down. Life happens though. Thus, a better question I prefer to ask is "what was the goal really about?" Another question I ask is "how can I do this in the future?"

On the Summer To-Do List, for instance, I bailed on the goal of "[practicing] baking baguettes & croissants." This was to be a simple goal but I didn't complete or really attempt it. So I ask "what was the goal really about?" The answer: it was about expanding my love of food and expanding my expertise in cooking. I can generally cook well, but I'm a rut eater and consequently a rut cook. I can read and manifest a recipe but I very rarely do it. After visiting France I wanted to elaborate on the love of bread I found while there. Ultimately, though, it didn't happen because I try to avoid bread in my diet except during breakfast. As much as I love bread (and boy do I) I'm aware of its consequences in terms of health.

So "how can I do this in the future?" In my Fall To-Do List I found recipes for items not necessarily bread related that I can attempt new culinary ideas. Thus my Fall To-List has a few more food items than my Summer To-Do List. Several Summer To-Do List stuff left incomplete or not attempted made it into my Fall To-List, which I'll post here:

Film Goals

• Complete Post-Production on Will
• Determine if reshoots are necessary (UPDATE: THEY ARE)
• FIRST CUT DONE 9.10
• Second CUT DONE 9.17
• Begin development/outside help on Modern Romance and/or Hunters
• Have others read both scripts SENT TO HT
• Work with a producer to develop scripts and set timelines
• Curtains determination
• If shown at Y’allywood, then submit to more
• If not, discuss with Casey -- likely wrap distribution WRAPPED

Events -- Arts, Festivals, etc.

• Sense & Sensibility @Synchronicity
• September 22 - October 15, 2017 TIX PURCHASED  for 10.12
• The Secret in the Wings @Gainesville Theatre Alliance
• 7:30pm, Nov.10-13, 2017
• Heidi @Synchronicity
• December 8-31, 2017
• Atlanta Docufest
• September 8-10, 2017 (DIDN’T HAPPEN)
• Y’allywood Film Festival
• October 9th -15th TIX PURCHASED  for 10.9

Hiking & Travel

• Northern Arizona trip
• September 19-22, 2017 BOOKED COMPLETED
• Asheville day trip
• Likely during October 19-22 break
• Dahlonega day trip with Rory
• Likely during October 19-22 break
• Charleston overnight trip
• November 17 BOOKED

Eating

• Attempt the following recipes:
• Kerala fried chicken via Asha Gomez’s My Two Souths
• Sweet potato empanadas via Cooking for Jeffrey
• Herb and apple bread pudding via Cooking for Jeffrey
• Bake caramel-apple butter cheesecake
• Restaurants to try -- Asian Food Fridays
• Haru Ichiban in Duluth BAILED due to SHOYA which is better and closer (found my Japanese restaurant yay!)
• Canton House on Buford Hwy DONE 9/30
• Shoya Izakaya DONE
• Restaurants to try -- Fancy Pants dining
• Greenwood on Green St. -- Roswell
• Lure
• Bacchanalia (if I can afford it)
• Bone’s
• Table & Main
• Freaking Incan

What about the 2017 Goals?

How am I doing overall with 2017, however? Let's catch-up by breaking down categories.


Film

We are knee-deep in Will post-production. We have two cuts and they are rough but we know where we stand and we have a structure of how to progress the plot. I'm working on what we need to re-shoot and what we need to ADR.


Beyond Will I wrapped up my Summer to-do list with three drafts of three different scripts. I've shared two with a couple of folks to get fresh eyes in order to move forward. The script I didn't share still needs some work and I'm moving forward on that script entitled Due. Through this process I was able to keep my writing sharp but more importantly I've recognized the next script I want to make, currently titled Hunters. I'll share more on that as it becomes tangible and developed.

 Travel

THE GRAND CANYON IS OFF THE 30 LIST!


I won't write a separate post on my trip to the Grand Canyon. This was a trip I was able to have completed due to the Delta Skymiles I accumulated. I flew into Phoenix, drove to Flagstaff which I stayed in as a home base.

How was the Grand Canyon? Glorious.

It's beyond what any camera can capture. The hues, the breadth, and the biting wind cannot be represented unless you're there. Each time I was there I tried to get as close as I could to the rim -- to which a tour guide said "That's the way to win the Darwin Award." Despite the tourists and RV's and everything I found myself absolutely threadbare.

The landscape of Arizona, at least northern Arizona, is breathtaking. So far, in terms of my experience, I feel Arizona may be the best U.S. state I've visited outside the South (which I'm biased). Flagstaff was a lovely host city and the scenery was as jaw-dropping to and in Sedona. I said far too many transcendent obscenities during that drive.

That was the last big trip of this year, before Mexico in January, 2018. I had "Asheville weekend" on my Summer To-Do List, and a day trip to Asheville will happen in October. I'm also taking an overnight night trip to Charleston.

Library

As I've written this blog and let it evolve to me sharing goals and aspirations, I've realized that I rarely share my library goals and ambitions. So let's change that.


For one, I feel that through the library I've been able to work through a 2017 goal of sketching more. What was this goal really about? It was about relaxing and finding a way to sit still. I've worked on that to an extent. Yet, the way I feel I've tackled this initiative is creating arts and crafts programs in the library. I try to have at least one per month  and in regards to attendance we do fairly well.

Part of this process, however, has been not only the teaching of arts and crafts but being a practitioner. Before I teach a collage program I create my own collages. Before I taught a watercolor program, I worked on my own watercolor. Is it sketching two times a week? Not quite, but if the goal was about sitting still and being immersed in a less stringent process I feel our programs have been personally helpful.

The other larger goal through the library has been the creation of the HelpPages. I've been collaborating with new librarians on the development of an idea I shared for a directory of organizations that help people in desperate times. This directory will list essential information for homeless shelters, food pantries, employment assistance, and so on. This resource is primarily for staff but for patrons as well. My hope is that the resource will outlive the committee I'm on but more importantly if one person can get assistance then I will feel content.

Life

It's weird to use "life" as what lies beneath the other categories, as if these pieces weren't a part of my life. What I mean by life I mean what's personal or what's going on with me.


When I shared my 2017 goals I wrote of spending more quality time with friends and family. I wrote of taking Rory, my 10 year old pup, on a dogcation, alongside aspirations to relax more.

I'm happy to say I have relaxed more. Rather than sketching, I've made sure to find time to go on a few more hikes or sit down at a coffeeshop removed from my regular environment to read a book.

Will a dogcation happen this year as I had previously discussed? It's unlikely. What was the goal really about though? It was about spending more time with Rory. This year has seen me take Rory to more places than in previous years. Since I cannot see her everyday when I do visit (usually every other weekend) I try to have her join me on car rides and to places as much as possible, whether to a coffeeshop or to go on more hikes. While no overnight dogcation is planned, I'll take her to Dahlonega for a long drive to see how she acts.

I'm also spending more time with friends and family. My best friend is getting married to his fiance while my other best friend is officiating and I'm...the best man. For the first time in my life I will be someone's best man, a gesture I'm quite humbled by. I've also spent more time with my folks, finally convincing my mom to put more into her 401(k) and going out with Dad, who has improved his weight loss with dedication and self-discipline. I need to spend time with him and help plan the Italy trip that I will take Mom.

But I'll share more about that and my life in due course. I always do.

What I Do as a Librarian

I share.

Just like I share the posts from this blog--a sort of diary of how I'm working towards my goals--I want to share who I am. Is it vain? Oh sure. Pretentious? I've heard that. But my love of sharing doesn't come from an egotistical point of view.

I sincerely love someone else learning something new. I sincerely love the reciprocity of experiencing something wonderful together. This can be a movie that I love and now someone else loves so now we celebrate it and bond over it. This can be food, where we test what we ordered and try something new and lovely.

That's why I'm a librarian in my day, a fact I don't often share on this blog. I write about my travels and my film life, which are crucial elements of my goals and life's to-do list.

I'm a librarian, though. When I created the 30's list I added that I was to get a Master's. That Master's is in Library & Information Science. That Master's decision was a wonderful decision, a process I wrote about here.

So let me brief you on what I do. In nutshell what I do can be summed up in two words: service and projects.

Here's a list of what I principally do:

1) I serve on the reference desk. This means if someone wants to find a book I help them find that book. If someone needs help formatting a resume, I help format that resume. If someone needs help, I help.

2) I'm the assistant branch manager. If there are any escalated issues, which cannot be resolved or should not be resolved by staff, I step in.

3) I create programs! This is my favorite part and to me an essential part of the new face of libraries. A lot of people think being a librarian means reading books all the time. I do research in books and online, but I create and teach programs targeting adults and seniors. These are arts & crafts programs such as a painting program where we talk about colors, strokes, and I then help everyone paint their own piece. These are technology programs such as an android class for seniors where we start from how to turn the phone on and off to how to log into wifi.

4) I help create and tackle projects. Sometimes these are branch-specific projects, such as deselection (or weeding) reference materials no longer useful to patrons. Sometimes these are committee-specific projects such as the creation of an updated page on personal finance or the creation of a list of homeless shelters in Metro Atlanta.

That is what I principally do. Of course I still do the basics of librarianship: shelving, picking holds off, counting money, etc.

Do I love it? Yes. I quite love what I do. It is a job that enables good benefits, a stable future, allows me to work on film projects on my off-hours, but more importantly it's fulfilling.

I get to create a program from scratch and watch someone learn something new. I had an elderly woman come in my painting program and later share with me that it was her birthday and she wanted to treat herself. I hold book-a-librarian one-on-one sessions with patrons who want more intimate help. This has led to individuals learning how to type using the QWERTY keypad and even to individuals passing GED subject tests.

I get to help people learning new information. That's an important task. Every community needs a learning space and access to a diversity of information. Information is not just in books or the internet. Information is sometimes a landscape painting you create or drinking different world recipes of coffee. This is a type of information that creates breadth in your experience, whether it sharpens your focus or concentration (painting) or enables you to have a broader worldview of something familiar (coffee).

This is what I do. I share all the information I can get my hands on.

Being Dean Rooney: On Not Going With the Flow

I like orders, plans, and routines because I'm a square.

We have this tendency to celebrate characters who embrace chaos and uncertainty, who make actions without plans, who go with the flow. If you say "well, not necessarily" then hink about the movies where someone who values order or routine is the antagonist whether it's Dean Wormer in Animal House or Margaret Hoolihan in MASH. Think about how many times you've read the phrase "go with the flow" or "laid back" under someone's self-summary on his or her online dating profile. No one says "I'm intense" or "I only drink soda on the weekends."

Well I'm intense. I don't go with the flow. I only drink soda on the weekends.

I'm not aggressive, but if I'm into something I don't just go with the flow with it. Take movies: I write and direct short films, I see 20+ movies in theaters per year not including what I see at film festivals (I also go to film festivals), I have access to Amazon Instant Video, Hulu, Netflix, and my library's catalog of classic films, and I even read film history books.

"Whoa, back up you say." Fair enough. But I exist and there's nothing wrong with someone who's into something. There's nothing wrong with having an intense interest in something benign or having routines.

If I "went with the flow" or was "laid back" I would've never made any films because I would say "Nah, I don't feel like it" because writing and directing requires work. You don't just "action" if you're a director. You create a shotlist, communicate with actors and crew, among so much other things. And you don't just jump into paid productions without either paying dues or proving yourself on films where you aren't earning much or doing it for free (like I have).

It's intense. It's also giving a shit. I like giving a shit. It makes everything better. When I finish a cut of my short film and I enjoy it -- knowing that I wrote and directed it -- it's a lovely high.

It's the same reward in my routine of eating. I have a dietary routine. I'm a human being and like most people I like fried chicken and soda. I was also morbidly obese -- 200 lbs in 7th grade, peak fatness at 260 lbs in 11th grade. Because of my routine -- having Coca-Cola only 1-2 days per week, eating a fruit or non-potato vegetable with every lunch and dinner, and walking 1-2 miles every day -- I'm able to remain consistently at a weight lower than what I was in 7th grade as a 28 year old man. Having a routine helped me.

That routine is important to me. I value the long-term result and a life of stability. Of course life isn't always stable. There's lows. Having a recipe for all this helps, however. I have something to fall back on. I don't want to be unhealthy or morbidly obese again. I've seen the health risks in my family. I want to be able to hike into my old age.

So I need this routine.

So instead of Tyler Durden, I want to be Atticus Finch or Leslie Knope. Instead of Ferris Bueller, I am Dean Rooney. I'm ok with that. "Leisure rules" as a lifestyle is toxic. Getting shit done rules and relaxing afterward rules.

Spring 2017 Life Update

So how's 2017 so far?

It's actually been quite lovely in spite of me not quite living up to my 2017 Goals. As I outlined in my post 2007 Me vs. 2017 Me I had several goals. I was to sketch twice a week. I was to work on Spanish.

So...I did work on these goals, but not with the degree that I had initially outlined. There's no routine in my sketching and my study of Spanish so unfortunately they haven't become habits. I even followed through and lead a program on sketching which certainly enabled me to learn more about technique and practice more -- alongside my other art programs such as watercolor -- but it's still rudimentary.

That's ok though.

We Shot a Movie

In the 2017 post linked above, I mentioned that I was in preproduction for a new film, currently titled Will. In February we completed principal photography and my DP has been color correcting the footage (while working several other jobs for long hours -- Go Kevin!). Reshoots are to happen soon and then postproduction.


Will was a breakthrough of sorts in terms of finding my voice. After writing scripts for nearly 10 years I'm finally at a point where I know what kind of movies I want to make. Will is a script that underwent 10 drafts -- sometimes for minor changes, sometimes for major ones -- but what came out of it was a lean script with more action and less dialogue. Yet, I feel the dialogue hit the point a lot more. Curtains went from 18 pages to 12 pages. Will stayed between 5-7 pages.

What I've realized is that I do have a type of film that I love. I love movies that are simple, character-driven, and visually inventive or bold. Will got me closer to this based on the footage I witness and my colleagues have asserted that Will had a better plot to execute. I'm proud of the work we shot, particularly from my DP. He was more confident in what we shot and our footage will stand out because of his lighting.

Make no mistake: everyone was on point.

I'm still growing as a director though. To back off from tooting my own horn, I do feel that I have to work on my communication. It's important for any film director to not micromanage -- but not be a washcloth either. It's hard middle and it's a skill that only comes out of experience. I'm getting closer to this middle, but I'm still not there yet.

Travel

In the 2007 vs. 2017 post, I mentioned that I was going to Paris and Hong Kong. Since that post I've completed both those trips! I wrote about Hong Kong but I didn't mention Paris, a relatively lifelong dream that I only gave myself 4 days to complete (with a stopover in Lyon for good measure).

Because the stay was short I won't go too much into this 2017 goal but I will share my Paris impressions:

• Paris isn't a movie. It's a real, breathing city. It's like Europe's NYC. There are a lot of people -- don't expect a relaxing, romantic time unless you pay extra for it.
• I know bread isn't good for you -- but if there's a heaven in this world it's either a Vienna coffeehouse or a French boulangerie. I've taken on the habit of buying a baguette from Publix every morning in my bastardized attempt to make up for this. 
• The Eiffel Tower and the Louvre are as magnificent as you could dream of -- in spite of the tourists. 
• The Musee d'Orsay was disappointing, frankly. 
• Montmartre is an ok district to stay in but I was confronted by a scammer trying to sell me a friendship bracelet. He grabbed me and I yelled back. This is a common scam. I don't recommend this.
• Watching the way locals act in a French bistro was truly a highlight -- I sat at a French bistro for lunch and witnessed locals greeting the host, shaking the hands of the chef. I found this treatment of others and reverence for what everyone in a restaurant--server, chef--does lovely.
• Speaking of Parisians -- I never had any issues with the locals. Everyone was wonderful.

The last thing I'll say about my Paris trip is a lesson: I plan to never go abroad again for less than a week.

The very last thing I'll say in regards to 2017 travel goals: the ticket to Arizona has been "purchased" (I used my Delta SkyMiles to get it). My "easy" travel goal to get to the Grand Canyon is finally happening in September.

Quality Time and Looking Ahead

Between now and the end of the year there will be no traveling abroad or any films shot. Now I say this knowing I'm working on a few scripts that I plan to develop over the summer to show and share. I'm planning new trips next year back to Latin America. I have weekend trips planned.





But I want quality time with my folks.


My dad had a series of mini-strokes in April. Tests are being completed by physicians to determine the cause but I have no doubt, nor does my family, that my dad's lifestyle choices -- eating habits, lethargy -- influenced the strokes. Dad has surprised us all through his self-discipline in changing his eating habits. His inability to speak or to have slurred speech scared him and both he and I want him to live longer.

Mom had her own confrontation with mortality again. Thankfully she herself is doing well, even if she's not completely physically healthy. Work has worn her down, of course, because that's what physical labor does. A month after Dad's mini-strokes, however, one of Mom's closest friends died suddenly of cardiac arrest -- on her birthday, no less. This devastated Mom and her coworkers. When I received the news I immediately called Home -- Mom couldn't speak, she was in shock and in tears. She called me the next morning and was unable to complete sentences without crying.

I want to spend more time with everyone. So that's my to-do list for the Summer. Find more time to spend with family, with Rory, and with my friends as well.

First, I want to help Mom retire. I've wanted Mom to retire at 60 -- her body won't be able to handle her job for much longer -- and after her friend died I'm determined. Why? Well frankly, I don't want her to die while still working at a manufacturing plant. I want her to be able to enjoy retirement. We've begun talks on how to take action by adding more income in 401K and what her pension will bring in real dollars. This is going to happen next year, hell or high water.

It's a very realistic goal because my sister has a job now! Yay! She's going to be a Kindergarten teacher with a really good income in a great school district. This means two things: mom is not necessarily helping her with any income (and put more money in her 401K) and my sister has to grow in personal finance. She's admitted she's had issues with financial planning. So in conjunction with helping my mom, this summer I plan to help my sister with personal finance goals and coming up with a realistic budget for her ultimate goal: to move out.

Last, I have a weekend trip planned...with Rory. I'm calling it a dogcation. Since last year I've included her in more and more activities as I've felt the weight of not being with her. So a dogcation needs to happen.

Final Thoughts

Relaxation has not been easy. I said at the beginning of the year I wanted to take it easy more. For January and February that wasn't happening. Work, preproduction and production of Will, and the stresses of a relationship (as mentioned in the Hong Kong post) led to a burnout.

Since March, however, I've been letting life get easier. Spending time with family and the dog is one way. I love working on and having goals but it's weird to have a goal that is "take it easy." But it's time to take it easy for 2017.

Finding My Space in Hong Kong

If you're the kind of person who retreats from scenes where too many people bump into you or look at you, Hong Kong is a tough proposition. There's no preparation for the sheer number of people that jam into the Central MTR Line alongside you. All you can do is stare at the Cantonese ads for Kotex and Guardians of the Galaxy, vol. 2. 

In Hong Kong, you're not going to have personal space. 

In my heart I knew that Hong Kong was going to be a challenge to my sense of space. That's one reason East Asia, a region I often wanderlusted in college, fell off in my travel priorities. Despite the love I had for the East Asian cultural things that many U.S. folks have -- food, history, martial arts films -- I grew away from China, Hong Kong, and Japan. As this Washington Post map shows, this is a region with half of humanity. Did I, an individual who values his personal space and open nature, really want to be in the middle of half of humanity?

Density

Half of humanity seems like hyperbole. It's one destination. Half of humanity will not be in one of China's Special Administrative Regions. Yet, Hong Kong has 7 million + people within an area of 1, 064 sq miles. That's <17,000 per sq mile. That's enough to be 4th in population density in the World for countries and dependent territories.

One night I met up with a friend I had chatted with online before the trip. She joined me for Indian food which I hadn't realized meant going to the Chungking Mansions. Chungking is just down the street from where I was staying, on Nathan Rd, and was crowded with peddlers insisting on business cards, soliciting...trying to earn a buck. During my walks I had yet to take a card from these men, but when my friend Ida (not her real name) took one chaos ensued! Taking one card was a way of saying "I'm open" and within seconds 5-7 men with cards surrounded her, right in her face. I found it exhausting and chilling.

But she just dealt with it.

That's the key to the traffic. It can be overwhelming but you learn to adapt. For most Hong Kongers there is no personal space. No one can afford to have it. Most people were like my friend Ida in that they had their own lives and just did the best they could. She was like most young Hong Kongers living with her parents. This wasn't a personal issue or failure to launch. It's simply an economic necessity. It's too expensive to have space.

One of the notable sights for me were hotels charging $78 HKD for two hours stays. Ida and I were on our way from Sai Kung Pier on the MTR when I noticed the hotel. I already knew the answer to my question "What is that about" when she giggled and informed me that because space is at a premium, some couples will pay to have 2 hours of privacy so they can have sex.

Ida was a great friend to have because she helped me reckon with Hong Kong. She shared with me the desire many have for space. It's hard to breathe, she felt, and sometimes she would stay in her room away from her family. She remarked on the collective RBF that people had.

Yet Ida understood what I understood: there are positives in having so many people in one place.

People and Food

Despite personal space challenges, sometimes the energy of everyone was captivating. People were everywhere and I generally like to not be around crowds of people. Yet, there's something beautiful in everyone bringing their uniqueness to a city, particularly in the uniqueness Hong Kongers bring to their food.

When I was in Paris in March I wanted to do a foodie/cooking tour but all the tours were booked. I decided to rectify this in my trip planning for HK and booked a foodie tour. During the tour we spent quality time tasting the real deal Cantonese dishes that restaurants in the U.S. imitated like wonton soup (with wontons so large it couldn't be eaten in one bite). We had char siu, dried fruit, dim sum, and egg tarts while walking around the street markets and wet markets.

Beyond Cantonese food there was so much different and wonderful food. Hong Kong has pretty much any kind of Asian food. Indian food, Sichuan and Hunan food, Thai, Japanese, Korean -- they were all in Hong Kong in delicious quantities.

Here's the thing with no space: no one cooks. People pay for a premium to have space so people don't fill up their places with substantial kitchens. Thus everyone eats out. It costs less than having a kitchen. Food in Hong Kong is cheap because of this -- I rarely spent more than the equivalent of $10 US on a meal and I ate well.

Oddly enough even restaurants don't have kitchens. It's common for restaurants to just use microwaves or order their foods from other places that do have kitchens. I ate at Dragon Restaurant in Central for their BBQ pork and roasted goose. During the foodie tour we were led into the kitchen where whole pigs would be roasted over the fire. Our tour guide informed us that restaurants wore their kitchen status on their sleeve as a badge of honor. "We have an ACTUAL kitchen."

There are multiple kind of HK restaurants -- dim sums, noodle shops, roast meat places -- and my favorite kind of Hong Kong restaurant was the cha chaan teng. The phrase means "tea restaurant" and was generally for places where locals would get morning or afternoon tea as well as traditional tea food -- baos (buns), instant noodles, Hong Kong style french toast (which had peanut butter in the middle of the bread slices...hmm).

Whenever I travel I try to find a coffee shop or breakfast place that I make my go-to spot. I'll go there every morning as a way of being a local. My go-to spot in HK ended up being a cha chaan teng called Kam Wah Cafe in Mongkok (still on Kowloon). I would go there every morning and have Hong Kong milk tea -- Ceylon dark leaf tea with evaporated milk -- and a pineapple bao plus other items like BBQ pork instant noodles. It represented the best of Hong Kong. Chaotic? Sure. Swarms of people? Absolutely. Delicious food? Of course. English spoken? Not really, but in HK as long as you have money you can sit and use gestures and you'll be served.

As I would eat there by myself I would never be given a table just to myself. They would sit me with someone else. This space issue ended up becoming a blessing as it gave me, a solo traveler, someone to speak with. One guy was a local who gave me some helpful hints. Another was a lady from Singapore in Hong Kong on business. On my second to last day I was sat with someone from Pittsburgh and we developed a bond. Let's call her Sarah. Sarah and I chatted about our plans -- she had just arrived, I was about to leave -- and my plans that day to go back to a place called Sai Kung were thrown out as we made plans to hang out. I joined her as she made through her foodie list and going to Victoria Peak, as we got lost trying to find Central station, and as we shared a grand finale Sichuan-style dinner.

The U.S. never worries about this -- if by yourself, you're given a table by yourself or you sit at the bar. No one talks to you necessarily and you'll feel alone, for better or worse. In HK, I never felt alone, for worse and, with Kam Wah, for better.

Other Experiences

I had other wonderful experiences in Hong Kong.

To find personal space, I found Sai Kung -- a new territory northeast of Kowloon. I was able to book a hike in the country park on Sai Kung called the "deserted beaches hike." Despite being 7 miles and during a hot, humid afternoon, this hike was ideal for having your own space in the midst of breathtaking beaches and lush forests. I had several moments of my "transcendent profanities" gazing at the crisp blue water.

There were plenty of places like this to unpack and unwind. These places are always my favorites -- places like Hong Kong Park, Hong Kong Botanical Gardens, Nian Garden & Chi Lin Nunnery.

Perhaps the most strikingly difference from my prior travel experiences is my willingness to indulge. Usually I am frugal but my coworkers -- perhaps noticing the tension I've had through substantial work, filmmaking, and writing -- coerced me to take up a massage at the Mandarin Oriental at Central.

Reflection

I continue to evolve as a traveler. This experience has emboldened my interest in East Asia once again. I crave foods and beverages I had in Hong Kong such as milk tea and baos.

I continue to evolve in what I want. I've grown to value (minor) indulgences and value the idea of "treating yourself." As I embarked on this trip I came out of a personal relationship (which I won't go into) that challenged my character. I was challenged in how I value myself. This relationship shook my self-love and my self-regard, leaving me wondering if I deserved anything, if I was worth anything.

Hong Kong was an enabling trip to realize I am worth something. It's easy to think that the substantial amount of people will leave to you feel alone but my experience didn't. While I was sometimes overwhelmed, as with experiences such as Kam Wah Cafe it's easy to share space and let people in.

2007 Me vs. 2017 Me: My 2017 Goals

It's hard for me to not have starry eyes for 2017.

I'm not impervious to conceiving my life as a narrative and as a writer it becomes easy to do so. I often try to think of moments in my life as chapters. I often think of phases of my life as volumes of a novel or Acts in a play or script. I use this conceit in many of my posts, like "The Breakthrough" and when discussing moments in my South America journey which I ultimately constructed as a multiple post narrative.

When discussing my life to friends I often share the moments of clarity I've experienced. I talk about the moment I began this path, the 30 List path, when I was in the light booth reading Look Homeward, Angel and realized that I need to go to the places I dreamed about like Eugene Gant dreamed of. I talk about the moment I realized I'm a real filmmaker--watching my short film Awake in a movie theater during the Chattanooga Film Festival.

When I think of 2017 I think of what place it may hold in my narrative, whether it's a new chapter or the end of a volume. In particular this year holds significance because of an anniversary that happens this year: 10 years since I graduated high school.

We often construct narratives that end or begin when we graduate high school. It's the end of our childhood or it's the beginning of our adulthood. It's Superbad or Dazed and Confused or American Graffiti. So now I reflect back because I think of my hypothetical high school reunion and I think about what narrative I would share with my classmates.

I don't plan to go to the real life 10 year reunion. With Facebook I've been able to keep in touch with the people I care deeply about or cherish. The fact that it has been 10 years since graduation does give me pause, however. It's not a quaking, ever-present existential crisis. I don't feel the rush of age as I rush towards 30 like my friend K-- did in his car last year when I saw his face fall and become pale as he came to the realization that his reunion would be soon. I am typical, however, in finding myself contemplating the differences between 2007 and 2017 me. Most of us do this, to look back and ask if are we better off now. I can't help but think of 2007 as I look back on what seems to be a rush of ten years.

Am I better off now?
...

Fuck yeah I'm better off now.

Sometimes it's easy to have a rosy view of the past. I certainly can see how someone might view a pre-Great Recession time as rosy. I don't. I don't want to ever be 2007 me or really any me that's not current. It's like using Window 95 after using Windows 7.  

Let's use another metaphor. To represent my social daftness I often describe the experience of being non-native to a language. If I'm in Austria, I'm around people who can think and speak German. I can speak very little and I have to translate what someone said in my head into English then create an English response and translate that to German. This means of translating and understanding German is how I translate and understand social language.

I've reached a point in my social awareness to be able to think and talk in native social language at an intermediate level. I still have moments where I have to translate, create, and translate again but my fluency has increased due to useful coping mechanisms. If you know someone who speaks English well but who still has a foreign accent or dialect and rarely uses complicated words, that's me in terms of my social fluency.

In 2007, I wasn't as close as I thought to this fluency. In fact, I was a mess. There are still parts of 2007 in me in terms of social fluency and I was a dreamer then. I wasn't practical though. I wanted to make films, but even in Video Production I didn't make an effort to keep films I made for posterity. I wrote posts of jealousy at friends who had been accepted into UGA because they had better grades and moaned about how grades weren't reflective of real intelligence or aptitude. I bragged about passing AP US History with a 5 without taking a class. I wanted validation and I let cynicism win when I didn't in real life. People who were ahead of me knew better. I wanted to cope with the sharp divide between the me I dreamed of and the me that existed in real life: the 2007 me.

Now I've abandoned the cynicism that traps so many valuable people and I've figured out how to get things done. Thus moving forward in 2017 I move forward thinking about this past self. I think of what I still owe my 2007 self in personal development. What do I still owe the chubby guy who saw 42 films in theaters a year and went home to watch Passport to Europe? What do I still owe this 2007 version of Martin through my 30 List in 2017?
...

2017 may be my most ambitious year with regard to my 30 List travel itinerary. Last year I crossed off 1 destination. This year I plan to cross off 3.

My initial plan was to go to 2 destinations. My initial plan was to cross East Asia and to cross off the Grand Canyon. I have a ticket to Hong Kong in April (with a layover in Istanbul). The idea was to spend a week in Hong Kong and the surrounding territories and later in October take a Thursday off during one of my 3-day weekends to go to the Grand Canyon finally.

Then I went against my rigid itinerary and thrifty nature and...splurged. I got a ticket to Paris. 

In October I decided to replace my 30 List plan to go to the UK with France instead. Since making my 30 List I've realized that I never really wanted to go to the UK or Stonehenge (which is what is technically written on my list). I've always had a relationship with France since I was young, whether it was the baked goods from the couple in Toccoa that came from San Martinique, the movies I educated myself on via TCM or the library, the French classes in high school and college, pen pal relationship I developed via MySpace 11 years ago, or the multitude of awkward first dates at Cafe & Crepes in Gainesville.

Then, in November, a redditor on /r/atlanta let the cat out of the bag with his or her post on "Ridiculously Cheap Flights to Europe" between December and May. Curious, I searched different locations and there it was: roundtrip from Atlanta to Paris for $432! I have no dependents, I manage my money, I have enough stashed back, and I have a fair amount of annual leave from work. It took 1 hour make this discovery, contemplate, discuss with coworkers, manager, and make a final purchase. I impulse bought a ticket to France. To the 5th grader who read The Family Under the Bridge...you're welcome.

...

My ambition with 2017 isn't just about travel, however.

I share about travels in regards to the 30 List, but my 30 List was never about traveling. It was always about personal development. Travel has been a substantial component as travel is intertwined with my sense of well-being and development of self. I have other components though.

There's the filmmaker component. I have on my list "Get your film shown at a major film festival." Right now I have a short film with ten drafts under my belt ready to be shot in February. We're currently in preproduction. I have the leads cast. I have a crew. We need other things but I feel this short film will be moving my filmmaker life forward.

But the component I'll dwell upon is more about taking it slow. I've talked about this before, how I allow myself to be overwhelmed and no moment to heal or detox.

In other words, I don't nap enough.

I love being busy. My trips are rarely laid-back vacations. They're adventures. I'm going to France for 4 days. I plan to buy a 2-day Paris Museum Pass and spend each morning at the art museums. In Hong Kong I plan on hiking different paths on the islands. This is how I vacation. I stay busy, I'm restless, and I'm perpetually caffeinated.

At work I'm a librarian. There's a view that people have shared of the easy librarian life: read and sit with books all day, check them out, etc. In reality I deal with a tad bit of the management side and I also work on programs. I develop lesson plans and a curriculum for patrons who book me for a one-on-one assistance on topics such as GED prep or learning how to write and type English. I run technology programs for seniors and teach arts & crafts. Then there's general library maintenance, submitting and compiling stats, and being the face to patrons who are disruptive or upset.

When I'm not working I'm still working. There's the filmmaker component. If I'm not working as a librarian I'm working as a filmmaker. At home during the week I'm working on a script, a shotlist, casting, etc.

So how do you take it slow if you want to be busy?

One way is to develop a routine. A nap for 1 hour, or 1 hour of laying in the bed and listening to a comedy album.

Then there's what I call "constructive relaxation." There's a zen to construction. There's something about construction and hobbies that are relaxing in how they peel time without one realizing it. That's my method of relaxing and taking it slow.

There are components of my 30 List to reckon as means to take it slow. Namely, I intend to work on my Spanish. For years I've been off and on with learning Spanish. The reliance of internet websites like Duolingo and such have hindered that. My initiative for 2017 involves the creation of a Spanish conversation club to develop and learn Spanish.

Another component that's not on the 30 List but that I want to do to take it slow: sketch. I have planned a program called Let's Sketch Together later this year and to really develop it I want to immerse myself more into sketching. This means sketching at least twice a week if not more. Sketching in its best, slowest form, requires truly looking at something. It requires a new way of seeing, for shades and details that a passive eye cannot necessarily witness. The focus that's required is different than an Instagram picture. It's an immersion that mandates slowing down.
 
I am a person of routine and before I'm 30 it's important to me to develop the habit of slowing down for the sake of balance. Being busy and sometimes being slow are necessary for my health.


...

To wrap up my talk of 2017 goals, I should last speak of a major component of this year: the exploration of a place to settle.

In the 30 List I wrote "Find a place to settle" with the intention of being vague. Settle could mean a city, an area, etc. There was a time when I was on the go but after a productive year in my metro Atlanta library system, I know that I am moving up in my career. I know that I'm moving up in my filmmaking career. With talk of finding moments to slow down, I also need to move up in my personal life.

This means exploring the question of if and where to buy a house.

I am not trying to be above my means. I want a condo or a town home but I want to find one in a place where I want to live for awhile. I haven't spoken about this because I do not have the money to really put down on a down payment, even a 3.7% one with P.M.I. That being said, I'm in a good place to think about having a long-term asset like this.

There are lot of components that go into the decision of where, but ultimately I want to live somewhere that will make me happy. I want to have Atlanta nearby so I can the Atlanta I want, but I also miss my small town and I'd like to have a small town.

Thus for 2017 I'm going to explore and look into the places that fit this bill, likely in the Gwinnett-DeKalb County axis.

...

I have grand ideas so each year I have grander ideas about how to move forward. I owe my 2007 self, an ambitious but not practical self, to keep moving forward and moving upward.